Dealing with Difference

This week at service we talked about my church family's association with a man in Uganda. Specifically, a man named Martin (last name was said but I don't remember it) has been a partner to our outreach arm in Africa. We've partnered with him out of admiration for his success in working against AIDS and out of a personal relationship with his family.

Apparently, there has recently been a bill (of which this man is a very public supporter) in Uganda related to homosexuality. The details of this bill remain unclear to me but I am guessing that it includes general laws against homosexual sex or (i absolutely hate this word) sodomy; as well as some laws against male-male pedophilia and sexual behavior when you have AIDS. Also, original drafts of this bill included the death penalty - though I am not sure for which of these behaviors (e.g., all of them, only pedophilia, etc). Thus, it hit the media as the "gay killing bill" and because our church is associated with Martin, our church is being associated with the "gay killing bill." Furthermore, there is apparently video circulating in which Martin says some pretty inflammatory (and I am guessing hateful) things.

Lovely!

So what do we do? Many other churches associated with Martin have cut ties with him. Shall we cut ties? Publicly denounce him? Our church leadership has chosen a different path - they chose to talk to him about it. About a month or two back they sat down with Martin and asked him about the specific offensive things he said and an understanding was reached. I was not at the meeting - I am not sure of the specific understanding that was reached. My pastor said that the relationship was sustained and that Martin has agreed to consider counsel from our church leadership.

This disagreement between Martin and Canyon Ridge has lead me to truly consider how I (we) deal with difference and offense in this world. What do you do, WHAT DO I DO, when someone I've respected, or someone I love does something I disagree with? What if this disagreement is over something really big?

Because it does not seem to me that Martin has cut ties with the bill nor does it seem to me that Canyon Ridge has decided that we support the bill - that means that a relationship has been sustained and cultivated when significant differences remain.

Furthermore, this has not come at some consequence to Canyon Ridge. Given the passion around this bill, we've been called to explain our "continued association" with Martin. As though the world expects that if you disagree with someone, the automatic and best option is to denounce them! And if you don't, you might as well be that person. To connect with a person is to identify with them fully.

I realize that on the national and political stage this is the norm, but I argue that this is a common, common pressure in our lives. You don't like what your sister believes about health care make sure you draw a huge boundary between her opinion and you. In years past, I've felt this pressure in my marriage! If David said or believed something I thought might reflect poorly on me, I would control the heck out of his public language or behavior.

In fact, I am CONVINCED, that if we starting cutting off every person with whom we shared significant differences we would one-by-one cut off every other person in our lives.

I also believe that Christianity, as a faith, speaks directly against this sort of thinking and behaving. The only things we are called to "cut off" are our sins. Throughout the New Testament we are called to reconciliation, restoration, and acceptance of difference.

Now some translate this as being spineless and not having any moral compass (e.g., acceptance = no difference, whatever is good for you is fine with me). NO! That is not accepting difference, this is cheaply (and quite often falsely) minimizing difference. Others translate this as acceptance of sin (e.g., acceptance = seeing evil running a muck all over some one's life and saying nothing). Again No! If you know someone and you sin/evil/poor choices ruining their lives we are called to step in and say something about it. What this is saying is that we do not accept the option of "writing someone off," or "denouncing someone"as Godly options. God seeks to reconcile, restore and build understanding. None of which are things that occur overnight, without sacrifice and without - in this world - misunderstanding or persecution.

This is a tall, tall order - is it not? A challenge I feel incredibly humbled by.

Lord,

Please give me the strength to love, to reconcile, to restore in a world that tells me to cut off and protect myself. You loved in this radical way first, let me follow your example. I am so incredibly humbled by you. I love you.

Amen.