"We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." - Anais Nin
"How do you see your life?"
My life is a thread in a tapestry, at once of central significance and insignificant. As part of the tapestry it joins and binds, brings additional color and beauty, adds to and completes. Apart from the tapestry, it disintegrates, loosens, subtracts, abandons and rejects. Yet in either circumstance, the tapestry goes on.
I experience my life as a story, often a great novel or film. Sometimes I imagine that I am the central character. After all, there I am in every scene. I even carry the vast majority of the dialogue. But I am not the main character, but more of an audience to a story written about God on the pages of my life.
Life on earth is a test.
"Character is both developed and revealed by tests..."
"Every day is an important day, and every second a growth opportunity to deepen your character, to demonstrate love, or to depend on God."
I am having a reaction to the overall tone of this section. It's written as if God learns something about us through our performance on little ascribed tests throughout our day. Did Paula pick up that litter? Oh no? Mark it down in the book. Oh, Paula held the door for that elderly woman, Excellent! Mark it down in the book. It is my understanding that God knows me fully. That He needs a test to understand me no more than He needs oxygen to breath. I do think life can be considered a test - but it is a test designed to expose me to myself. To show me who I really am, like a pregnancy test reveals if you are pregnant or not -it tells you the way things are. In that way, I don't really think God's tests are pass or fail. We may certainly be displeased with the result (i.e., crap! I still have a fear problem) but this is not a 'failure' so much an acknowledgement of the truth (i.e., I need to grown more).
Life on earth is a trust.
The world and all that is in it belong to the LORD; the earth and all who live on it are his.
- Psalm 24:1 (TEV)
"We never really own anything during our brief stay on earth. God just loans the earth to us while we are here. It was God's property before you arrived and God will loan it to someone else after you die."
Amen!
"The first job God gave humans was to manage and take care of God's "stuff" on earth. The role has never been rescinded It is a part of our purpose today. Everything we enjoy is to be treated as a trust God has placed in our hands."
Amen! AND more importantly EVERYONE! Our children, our friends, our parents, our in-laws, our spouse, our family - a TRUST. Treat with care
Life on earth is a temporary assignment.
I am also having a reaction to this section, albeit a mixed reaction. On the one hand I want to shout "Amen!" this world is not right! It is unjust and there is mercilessness and suffering! I don't belong here. Again to quote CS Lewis from the Weight of Glory:
"It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling around with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at sea. We are far to easily pleased."
Or as in one of my favorite Swtichfoot songs Beautiful Letdown put's it:
"It was a beautiful letdown, the day I knew that all the riches this world has to offer me will never do. In a world full of bitter pain and bitter doubt, I was trying so hard to fit in until I found out that I don't belong here."
But I think we need to hold this truth in tandem with a corresponding truth; specifically that heaven is not somewhere else, some time later, where we go after we die. Instead that the kingdom of heaven is at hand. It is now. Our citizenship to the kingdom of heaven, our operation in the kingdom of heaven begins instantaneously with our renouncing our citizenship to the world and giving our heart to Jesus Christ. Certainly, we will know the kingdom with more fullness and completeness as the old world ultimately dies away, but we can access the kingdom and are part of the kingdom right now. We carry out it's aims, Right Now! We pray for the kingdom to take up a larger and larger residence RIGHT NOW!
Mr. Warren makes this point, "We're not completely happy here because we are not supposed to be... You will never feel completely satisfied on earth, because you were made for more. You will have happy moments here, but nothing compared to what God has planned for you."
On the one hand, I think he is correct - This world, as it is, will never satisfy us. But the implication is that it is because we are aliens on a foreign planet and won't be happy until we go home to planet Zeta (or whatever). That is not my read on Biblical truth. We were made for this planet and this planet for us. This is our home. We are not headed off to some other planet (neither literally, figuratively or metaphorically); our planet sick, our world is dying from sin. We cannot be satisfied so long as it remains. As long as their is injustice, suffering, oppression, betrayal, murder, hatred, malice, deceit, death, decay, isolation, loneliness, heartbreak, insecurity, fear, selfishness, entitlement, pride, gossip, bitterness or self-loathing. As long as the kingdom of death marches along side the kingdom of life we shall not, we cannot be satisfied.
True. The only immediate escape from this reality is death. When we enter the full presence of God and leave the world behind. But this will not always be so. God promises that someday His kingdom will rule ON THE EARTH. Our home will be restored, redeemed. Sin will be cast out. A Holy Temple restored.
Our job, our mission, is to go about acting as if today were that day. That the fact of the future, is the the Truth now. Ephesians 4: 22-24 puts it this way:
You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. - NIV
I realize that this understanding of heaven is not popular - in the sense that most folks talk about heaven as a far off, distant paradise in the sky. But I encourage to you examine Christ's teachings and dig into your Scripture and see if it is not so. Test it out.
For me it has meant changing citizenship now. It has meant acknowledging God and His kingdom as alive and active everyday, everywhere. It has meant participating as if it heaven were now, even when the kingdom of death would have me believe otherwise.
Love you.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Day 4
"This life is not all there is."
I recently had a conversation with my nephew, Alex (the 22 year old genius), about God. He said that he finds the most people struggle with the hell part of the Christian faith, but for him the most fearful part of the Christian belief system is the eternity of it all. He said that at 8 or 9 he just couldn't tolerate the idea of it "never ending."
What struck me is that 8 or 9 year-old Alex understood, in a profound way, the gravity of a belief in an eternal afterlife. That humans last forever. He understood this as only a budding mathematician (what does the numerical value of infinity really mean), scientist (how big is the universe) and genius (my brain hurts trying to think this big) could. He understood it then and understands it now in real terms (or realer terms at least) than I can. Likely than you can.
He understands that the magnitude of infinity should crush us, overwhelm us.
CS Lewis got it too. He wrote a whole essay on it entitled The Weight of Glory. I want to quote the whole thing here, but instead I'll give you my favorite part:
“It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree helping each other to one or the other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all of our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations - These are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit - immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.” [emphasis mine]
If the Christian belief system is the ultimate Truth, if we are destined for an eternal afterlife shaped by our choices in this finite-life - it is a very, very serious responsibility indeed.
"Every act of our lives strikes some chord that will vibrate for eternity."
Question to Ponder: Since I was made to last forever, what is the one thing I should stop doing and the one thing I should start doing today?
The first one is easy... I should stop worrying. Despite my direct knowledge of this fact, I still worry with more intensity, frequency and duration than I think is healthy. I still must buy into the lie that my worry is somehow beneficial. Or maybe it's just habit? Or old unhealed pain? I don't know. But I absolutely know that it needs to go. It eats up resources I could be using elsewhere.
The second one is harder... what should I be doing more of. I mean I could say loving more. I think that's the Christian thing to say. But I think I love pretty all in, I think I love big. Maybe forgive more? Again, I think I forgive pretty well. I don't know family... what do you think I should do more of? Sleep. Tee hee. Rest. Maybe rest. Thoughts?
Dearest Father God, May the gravity of eternal life awaken me.May I have eyes to see, ears to hear. This is serious business, this life, may I walk as if I know it. May I love, as if I get it. Amen.
I recently had a conversation with my nephew, Alex (the 22 year old genius), about God. He said that he finds the most people struggle with the hell part of the Christian faith, but for him the most fearful part of the Christian belief system is the eternity of it all. He said that at 8 or 9 he just couldn't tolerate the idea of it "never ending."
What struck me is that 8 or 9 year-old Alex understood, in a profound way, the gravity of a belief in an eternal afterlife. That humans last forever. He understood this as only a budding mathematician (what does the numerical value of infinity really mean), scientist (how big is the universe) and genius (my brain hurts trying to think this big) could. He understood it then and understands it now in real terms (or realer terms at least) than I can. Likely than you can.
He understands that the magnitude of infinity should crush us, overwhelm us.
CS Lewis got it too. He wrote a whole essay on it entitled The Weight of Glory. I want to quote the whole thing here, but instead I'll give you my favorite part:
“It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree helping each other to one or the other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all of our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations - These are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit - immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.” [emphasis mine]
If the Christian belief system is the ultimate Truth, if we are destined for an eternal afterlife shaped by our choices in this finite-life - it is a very, very serious responsibility indeed.
"Every act of our lives strikes some chord that will vibrate for eternity."
Question to Ponder: Since I was made to last forever, what is the one thing I should stop doing and the one thing I should start doing today?
The first one is easy... I should stop worrying. Despite my direct knowledge of this fact, I still worry with more intensity, frequency and duration than I think is healthy. I still must buy into the lie that my worry is somehow beneficial. Or maybe it's just habit? Or old unhealed pain? I don't know. But I absolutely know that it needs to go. It eats up resources I could be using elsewhere.
The second one is harder... what should I be doing more of. I mean I could say loving more. I think that's the Christian thing to say. But I think I love pretty all in, I think I love big. Maybe forgive more? Again, I think I forgive pretty well. I don't know family... what do you think I should do more of? Sleep. Tee hee. Rest. Maybe rest. Thoughts?
Dearest Father God, May the gravity of eternal life awaken me.May I have eyes to see, ears to hear. This is serious business, this life, may I walk as if I know it. May I love, as if I get it. Amen.
Friday, August 3, 2012
Day 2
Long before he laid down earth's foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love.
- Ephesians 1:4a The Message
Hmmm... Humans as a unique focus of God's love.
It is popular in the Christian church to talk about our favored role in all creation (i.e., we are the crown jewel of all creation). This usually rubs me wrong, because I find so much of God in animals, in plants (especially trees) in the earth itself. I think - "So God doesn't love trees as much as me?" And technically speaking, I think the answer to this question implied in these verses would be "No."
But I don't know if that is exactly what those verses are saying. I keep rolling over the idea that there is something unique about humans and their relationship to God's love. We are special, different in our relationship to it. I want to say those verses tell us something about our fundamental purpose in the role of creation in it's entirety; specifically that love is at the core of our (people's) purpose. Basically that at our core we were created to be love and to love. Like the stars might be said to be the focus of God's majesty and power, or water is the focus of his immutability and transformation. Though loved (for He cannot help but love, but is love), their purpose is to reflect other attributes of the Divine nature.
Thus, humans are uniquely about love.
I think this fits well with everything I know (both as a person and professional about the human condition and make-up. As one of my new favorite speakers says "Everything that social sciences suggest is that we are made for connection (love)." This is supported by behavioral psychology which suggests that affection (love) is THE primary reinforcer. Or what social psychologists have explained about torture; specifically that social isolation is the worst form of torture (blocking love). It also fits with the sea of clients who I've seen that are deeply searching for unconditional love. Love not available in their marriage, their friends, their parents. They ache for it. Deeply ache for it. What are they looking for?
We were born to love and be loved. This fits for me.
"Why did Go do all this? Why did he bother to go to all the trouble of creating a universe for us? Because he is a God of love. This kind of love is difficult to fathom, but it's fundamentally reliable. You were created as a special object of God's love! God made you so he could love you. This is a truth to build your life on."
.
"Love is the essence of God's character."
Question to Consider: I know that God uniquely created me. What areas of my personality, background and physical appearance am I struggling to accept?
Well... my body. I think after a great number of years I have finally made peace with my butt. It is larger than I want it to be. Always has been. But I figured out that God knew I would be sitting a lot as a therapist and I needed something squishy to make it more comfortable. But I am still unhappy with my weight. Sometimes my face. I want to be a supermodel. I want to be ... I don't know ... everything beautiful, nothing ugly.
I also struggle with my anxiety. The pain of rejections I've felt throughout my life (i.e., Why couldn't you 'like me back' Mikey?; Why couldn't you quit blaming me Katie?). The idea that my thoughts, my actions, my needs do not dictate the motions of the earth (i.e., that perhaps the reason people I love hurt me, most often has nothing to do with me).
Dear Lord, Help me accept me, accept my life, accept that I am Your handiwork. Help me to accept that You can be found in my pain and my healing. Better yet, help me to love me. Help me to see me as You see me; not the master of the universe but a precious child. Not a pile of flawed make-up, extra weight and loneliness, but a warrior of honor called to fight for love, peace, faith, hope and justice. Help me tune in to the Truth that at once I am both small (a wisp, a vapor) and big (a mother, a legacy creator, a point of light); bad and good; broken and healed; lost and redeemed. May Your kingdom reign in my life more and more; where I am more righteous, more whole, more love - keep Your promise that I will move from Glory to Glory forever. Amen.
- Ephesians 1:4a The Message
Hmmm... Humans as a unique focus of God's love.
It is popular in the Christian church to talk about our favored role in all creation (i.e., we are the crown jewel of all creation). This usually rubs me wrong, because I find so much of God in animals, in plants (especially trees) in the earth itself. I think - "So God doesn't love trees as much as me?" And technically speaking, I think the answer to this question implied in these verses would be "No."
But I don't know if that is exactly what those verses are saying. I keep rolling over the idea that there is something unique about humans and their relationship to God's love. We are special, different in our relationship to it. I want to say those verses tell us something about our fundamental purpose in the role of creation in it's entirety; specifically that love is at the core of our (people's) purpose. Basically that at our core we were created to be love and to love. Like the stars might be said to be the focus of God's majesty and power, or water is the focus of his immutability and transformation. Though loved (for He cannot help but love, but is love), their purpose is to reflect other attributes of the Divine nature.
Thus, humans are uniquely about love.
I think this fits well with everything I know (both as a person and professional about the human condition and make-up. As one of my new favorite speakers says "Everything that social sciences suggest is that we are made for connection (love)." This is supported by behavioral psychology which suggests that affection (love) is THE primary reinforcer. Or what social psychologists have explained about torture; specifically that social isolation is the worst form of torture (blocking love). It also fits with the sea of clients who I've seen that are deeply searching for unconditional love. Love not available in their marriage, their friends, their parents. They ache for it. Deeply ache for it. What are they looking for?
We were born to love and be loved. This fits for me.
"Why did Go do all this? Why did he bother to go to all the trouble of creating a universe for us? Because he is a God of love. This kind of love is difficult to fathom, but it's fundamentally reliable. You were created as a special object of God's love! God made you so he could love you. This is a truth to build your life on."
.
"Love is the essence of God's character."
Question to Consider: I know that God uniquely created me. What areas of my personality, background and physical appearance am I struggling to accept?
Well... my body. I think after a great number of years I have finally made peace with my butt. It is larger than I want it to be. Always has been. But I figured out that God knew I would be sitting a lot as a therapist and I needed something squishy to make it more comfortable. But I am still unhappy with my weight. Sometimes my face. I want to be a supermodel. I want to be ... I don't know ... everything beautiful, nothing ugly.
I also struggle with my anxiety. The pain of rejections I've felt throughout my life (i.e., Why couldn't you 'like me back' Mikey?; Why couldn't you quit blaming me Katie?). The idea that my thoughts, my actions, my needs do not dictate the motions of the earth (i.e., that perhaps the reason people I love hurt me, most often has nothing to do with me).
Dear Lord, Help me accept me, accept my life, accept that I am Your handiwork. Help me to accept that You can be found in my pain and my healing. Better yet, help me to love me. Help me to see me as You see me; not the master of the universe but a precious child. Not a pile of flawed make-up, extra weight and loneliness, but a warrior of honor called to fight for love, peace, faith, hope and justice. Help me tune in to the Truth that at once I am both small (a wisp, a vapor) and big (a mother, a legacy creator, a point of light); bad and good; broken and healed; lost and redeemed. May Your kingdom reign in my life more and more; where I am more righteous, more whole, more love - keep Your promise that I will move from Glory to Glory forever. Amen.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Day 1
A life devoted to things is a dead life, a stump; a God-shaped life is a flourishing tree.
- Proverbs 11:28 The Message
"If I handed you an invention you had never seen before, you wouldn't know it's purpose, and the invention itself wouldn't be able to tell you either. Only the creator or the owner's manual could reveal its purpose."
Is this really true? Can I tell nothing of a person's purpose by looking at them? By knowing them? What sense is encouragement then? Or insight? Or reflection? Or community?
Perhaps it's larger than I am imagining. Perhaps we see gifts, talents, strengths, weaknesses, abilities - Clues, but not answers. Only God knows how they are to be woven together into a life. Into a whole, living, thriving person. Past that and into The Grand Story.
"But being successful and fulfilling your life's purpose are not at all the same issue!"
Amen, brother.
Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self.
- Matthew 16:25 The Message
Gulp. I knew God had something to say. I should have know it was this (see the blog post entitled Self-Centered).
Ok. Ok. It is not about me. I know it is not.... about.... me.
It's in Christ that we find what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone.
- Ephesians 1:11 The Message
In everything... in everyone. His purpose does not consider me in isolation. It considers my life a thread in a tapestry. I tapestry that He is weaving and creating. A glorious and beautiful tapestry of redemption.
"Question to Consider: In spite of all of the advertising around me, how can I remind myself that life is really about living for God, not myself?"
Shit people, I can't even get out of bed and to the Bible without tripping over this nonsense. I am broken. I am self-centered. Let's talk about this morning. Syd woke up early. David was kind enough to let me sleep and handle her breakfast and TV. She wandered upstairs and hour later and I was bitterly complaining in my head about how inconsiderate it was for David to allow her to come upstairs while I was still sleeping. AN HOUR LATER. Exactly 10 minutes before I was supposed to get out of bed anyway. Selfish.
Then it's about my hair, my clothes, my work schedule, my duties, my responsibilities, my task list, my self-esteem. Oh and let's not forget my WEIGHT! Rambling on in my head like an endless swelling and subsiding of the ocean. I am so sick of worrying about myself! I am so tired of managing myself. I am so done with myself.
*Sigh*
Lord, Here I am. Here is my schedule. Here is my self-esteem. Here are my clients. Here is my marriage. Here are my friendships and the commune. Here is the EPPP. Here is my shame about not having taken it yet. Here is my sea of unfinished progress notes. Here is my broken record diatribe about working harder. You take it all. I am done with it. When I try to grab it back from you... oh, in like 15 minutes, please smack my hand away. I know that this life is about you. Please, please remind me.
I love you.
- Proverbs 11:28 The Message
"If I handed you an invention you had never seen before, you wouldn't know it's purpose, and the invention itself wouldn't be able to tell you either. Only the creator or the owner's manual could reveal its purpose."
Is this really true? Can I tell nothing of a person's purpose by looking at them? By knowing them? What sense is encouragement then? Or insight? Or reflection? Or community?
Perhaps it's larger than I am imagining. Perhaps we see gifts, talents, strengths, weaknesses, abilities - Clues, but not answers. Only God knows how they are to be woven together into a life. Into a whole, living, thriving person. Past that and into The Grand Story.
"But being successful and fulfilling your life's purpose are not at all the same issue!"
Amen, brother.
Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self.
- Matthew 16:25 The Message
Gulp. I knew God had something to say. I should have know it was this (see the blog post entitled Self-Centered).
Ok. Ok. It is not about me. I know it is not.... about.... me.
It's in Christ that we find what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone.
- Ephesians 1:11 The Message
In everything... in everyone. His purpose does not consider me in isolation. It considers my life a thread in a tapestry. I tapestry that He is weaving and creating. A glorious and beautiful tapestry of redemption.
"Question to Consider: In spite of all of the advertising around me, how can I remind myself that life is really about living for God, not myself?"
Shit people, I can't even get out of bed and to the Bible without tripping over this nonsense. I am broken. I am self-centered. Let's talk about this morning. Syd woke up early. David was kind enough to let me sleep and handle her breakfast and TV. She wandered upstairs and hour later and I was bitterly complaining in my head about how inconsiderate it was for David to allow her to come upstairs while I was still sleeping. AN HOUR LATER. Exactly 10 minutes before I was supposed to get out of bed anyway. Selfish.
Then it's about my hair, my clothes, my work schedule, my duties, my responsibilities, my task list, my self-esteem. Oh and let's not forget my WEIGHT! Rambling on in my head like an endless swelling and subsiding of the ocean. I am so sick of worrying about myself! I am so tired of managing myself. I am so done with myself.
*Sigh*
Lord, Here I am. Here is my schedule. Here is my self-esteem. Here are my clients. Here is my marriage. Here are my friendships and the commune. Here is the EPPP. Here is my shame about not having taken it yet. Here is my sea of unfinished progress notes. Here is my broken record diatribe about working harder. You take it all. I am done with it. When I try to grab it back from you... oh, in like 15 minutes, please smack my hand away. I know that this life is about you. Please, please remind me.
I love you.
40 Days
I signed a covenant today.
I thought I should tell you, because this is supposed to be a place where I document my faith walk and covenants are a pretty big deal. Blood oaths. Forever promises. The language of God.
I am not sure if signing a covenant to read a book is right, but that it what I did. I signed a covenant to read (or more accurately re-read) Rick Warrens The Purpose Driven Life. I signed the covenant because I know I need something similar to what I needed then. I am different now, but I still need a paced, more seasoned look at the words.
I think, more than that, I need a slow, 40 day, focused walk with God. I need to return to the fundamentals. I need something easy (I think I can handle two pages a day) but challenging (these pages are no joke).
But mostly... I just need. And I have found water here before. I have found stuff to screw my head on straight here before. So I am going to this pool again to take a drink. My sincere prayer is that God will use this 40 days to shake me up again. That He will show up and put His foot down about my life again. The first 40 day journey through this text changed my life forever. I am looking for that kind of change again.
I am also going to check in with you all about this process. This is my open journal about the days ahead. I am intending to wrestle with each question here as authentically and openly as possible. Courage. I commit to you, to myself, and most importantly to God, that complete transparency about all of my crap (sin, doubt, fear) is the goal. Confession. I have those in my life who influence this - my words may be vague at times - but only in an effort to protect them. Honor. I am going to put my money right where my mouth is (or more accurately where my fingers type). Integrity.
Join me? Community.
I love you.
God, I trust you. Let's do this thing.
I thought I should tell you, because this is supposed to be a place where I document my faith walk and covenants are a pretty big deal. Blood oaths. Forever promises. The language of God.
I am not sure if signing a covenant to read a book is right, but that it what I did. I signed a covenant to read (or more accurately re-read) Rick Warrens The Purpose Driven Life. I signed the covenant because I know I need something similar to what I needed then. I am different now, but I still need a paced, more seasoned look at the words.
I think, more than that, I need a slow, 40 day, focused walk with God. I need to return to the fundamentals. I need something easy (I think I can handle two pages a day) but challenging (these pages are no joke).
But mostly... I just need. And I have found water here before. I have found stuff to screw my head on straight here before. So I am going to this pool again to take a drink. My sincere prayer is that God will use this 40 days to shake me up again. That He will show up and put His foot down about my life again. The first 40 day journey through this text changed my life forever. I am looking for that kind of change again.
I am also going to check in with you all about this process. This is my open journal about the days ahead. I am intending to wrestle with each question here as authentically and openly as possible. Courage. I commit to you, to myself, and most importantly to God, that complete transparency about all of my crap (sin, doubt, fear) is the goal. Confession. I have those in my life who influence this - my words may be vague at times - but only in an effort to protect them. Honor. I am going to put my money right where my mouth is (or more accurately where my fingers type). Integrity.
Join me? Community.
I love you.
God, I trust you. Let's do this thing.
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