Something New

He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write it down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” – Revelation 21: 5

Today I am sighing in my spirit – saying “Oh Lord, please let it be! I am so thirsty for something new.” This is ironic because right now my life is full of everything new. New home (we just moved – which explains the late post… sorry). New relationship status (from married to nearly divorced). New season (welcome summer, with it’s new daylight hours, temperatures and clothing). But somehow these new things are not what I am aching for… sometimes I am confused and think they are what I am aching for… a change of scenery or new outfit or a new bit of attention… but not really. They never satisfy for very long at all. And the wave comes up again – “Something new Lord. Something NEW!”

Sometimes in my life, often unexpectedly, I have happened upon the right kind of new. For example, when I was at one of the lowest points in my life I met a new kind of friend – my Jackie. Prior to knowing Jackie I was a very emotionally distant woman. My expectation in friendships was that folks were there to enjoy time or space with you but they would not stand the test of time, or be there when it really counted. Those things were just too hard for most. So I believed that in this life you are really in it on your own.

But Jackie was a new kind of friend… she challenged every idea I had about friendship; about how people lived life side by side. At first this was not very pleasant. Jackie can attest, we fought ALL OF THE TIME. One of our biggest rows involved Jackie and I driving together and Jackie actively challenging my idea that we live life alone. She said something like, “Well Paula, that is just bull; we don’t start this life, live this life or do anything on our own.” Oooo I was so mad! I was snappy and condescending. I think I even slammed the door when I got out of the car. I probably had an inner fight with Jackie carrying on this dialogue for weeks after that moment.

And you know Jackie was right… she often is (but no one tell her that!)… but she did NOT convince me in that car. Nor did she win any of the intellectual debates I had with her in my head (I am a very good debater – especially when I have complete control over what the other person says). She changed me by BEING a new kind of friend. By never leaving. By being there when things got hard. By not dodging difficult conversations. By not allowing me to be illusioned about how I was living alone because her beautiful self was ALWAYS THERE!

Now THAT is the kinda new I am talking about. THAT is the kinda new that can change your life. We long for that kinda new. I NEED THAT KIND OF NEW.

And you know what it is? That kind of new is the Kingdom. Jackie was and is what a friend in the Kingdom of God is all about.

“A friend loves at all times…” Proverbs 17:17a

See the “new” I am thirsty for is God’s new Kingdom. God’s economy. God’s friendship. God’s community. God’s grace. God’s righteousness. God’s plan. God’s way. It is the longing for His Kingdom to reign first in my life and then in the world. It is THAT new. Not just any new. His new.

I have some songs that I love that speak directly to this issue. Will you listen to them with me? I mean really listen… slow down… reflect… let them speak to your soul.

The first is C.S. Lewis Song by Brooke Fraser. In it she writes about the unsettled longing of waiting for the Kingdom; of the resistance, the groaning and the aching. In it she loosely quotes C.S. Lewis singing “If I find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy, I can only conclude that I was not made for here.” Our longing for the new is written into our very souls. It cannot be satisfied with the dead decaying world around us. It also speaks to our fear of the new. Fraser writes “But my comfort would prefer for me to be numb and avoid the impending birth of who I was born to become.” Wow ... sit with that for a second. Ever been afraid of the Kingdom? Ever known the new was going to demand a new you? Ever resisted? Boy have I. But “hope is coming for me!” – An aside, can I just say I so want that lyric printed on a t-shirt (i.e., “Hope is coming for you.”)?

The second is Beautiful Things by Gungor. You probably know this one from our services. This song is about despair, hopeless and redemption. About our looking around at the death and decay of our world and not seeing the new (boy have I been there more than once). “All this pain, I wonder if I’ll ever find my way; I wonder if my life could really change at all.”  Yet there is repeated reminder of who our God is and what His work is: “You make beautiful things, you make beautiful things out the dust. You make beautiful things, you make beautiful things out of us.”

The third and final is a song called Your Misfortune by Mike Doughty.  This song is about ultimately finding the Kingdom in our relationship with God. The song is written from God’s perspective – begging us to seek Him when we are rejected, lonely and afraid. “When everybody says ‘No, no, no. Well it’s your misfortune and none of my own.” They’re wrong, wrong, wrong. Well it’s your misfortune that sweetens my song. I can be the friend you want. I can be your confidant. I can be the right reminder at the right time; throwing out the life line. Stand in the light.”

Dearest Abba,

I am feeling it today Lord, the deep ache for your Kingdom. I know my sisters are feeling it too. Pour out more of You. More of Your new Kingdom. Rain the newness that satisfies. I thank you for the ways your Kingdom has already infected my life. My friendships. My community. My church. But I only want more of You. Your Kingdom come. Your will be done.

I love you too. Amen.

So Ladies here’s your assignment:

(1)   Own it. Do you long for something new? What new things are you hoping for?

(2)   Wrestle it. Several things can get in our way when we are trying to find God’s new in our life. It can be fear of change or discomfort (as Brooke Fraser suggests). It can be unresolved grief or hopelessness (as Gungor talks about). It can be rejection or loneliness (as Mike Doughty discusses). What resonates the most deeply for you?

(3)   Live it. We need to find a way to expect and see the new things God is doing all around us all the time. I think the best way to do that is for us to devote some time to looking for the Kingdom actively and sharing with each other our encounters. SOOOO here is my challenge: (1) post at least 1 story where you have encountered “something new” from your past  and (2) make a public commitment to look for “something new” for the next two weeks and share what you find.

p.s. Have I mentioned that I am so, so privileged to serve you???

Go

So my journey with God has been a long and rocky one, but it really picked up traction about 7 years ago. It was then that I read Rick Warren’s The Purpose Driven Life and decided I was going to give this “living for God” thing all that I had to give it.

I remember that when I read the book, he breaks down our life’s purpose into 5 sections: (1) Planned for God’s Pleasure, (2) Formed for God’s Family, (3) Created to Become Like Christ, (4) Shaped for Serving God and (5) Made for a Mission. The “Made for a Mission” part tackles what I would call our commissioning. Or Jesus simple message to “Go.”

Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. – Matthew 28:16-20.

I remember when I read Warren’s book he offered me a perspective I had not had before. Specifically, that “going” didn’t always (or even mostly) mean standing on a street corner in downtown Vegas or Bangladesh and screaming about how angry God was at all of the sinners and how if they didn’t get in line they were going to burn in hell. Instead, he talked about being passionate about those who don’t know Christ, that our commissioning is a privilege, and that our participation is essential.

So if this is true… what is our problem? Or more specifically, what is my problem? After a little reflection I think I have discovered two main issues for me: (1) I haven’t always that thought that it was all that important for people know Christ (uh-oh), and (2) I haven’t always seen my commissioning as a privilege.

Ok… so let’s get real. My biggest initial issue with missions work was that I did not really believe that it was all that important for people to know Christ. I know, I know – Shock! Gasp! Horror! But I really thought as long as people were generally “good people” living with basic morals in place that they were “ok” and that God would take care of the rest. On the one hand, I think my position represented something good and healthy; specifically, my trust in God’s character. You know I just don’t buy into the idea that God is going to toss people into hell right and left over arbitrary nonsense.

On the other hand, what this belief structure fails to account for is REALITY. Specifically, the reality that everyone I know now or have ever known is suffering. Some of this suffering is obvious – they have been/are being abused or don’t have food or are grieving. Some of this suffering is less obvious – locked in their own head are unanswered questions spinning around, or merciless anxieties that keep them looking perfect on the outside, or loneliness that is so familiar it is an accepted fact of life. And the truth is the only adequate answer for any of this suffering is Jesus. Brooke Fraser puts it this way in her song Hosea’s Wife:

“I see the scars of searches everywhere I go, from hearts to wars, to literature, to radio. There’s a question, like a shame no one will show, ‘What do I live for?’ ”

God has totally opened my eyes and heart to this reality. I hear the question in song lyrics, TV shows, casual conversation – the unsettled hearts of people everywhere. And the only honest or helpful answer I have to offer any of these folks is Jesus. It’s who He was, what He said, how He lived, what He represents. He is the answer. Just being “good people” hasn’t stopped enough suffering or adequately answered one existential question for anyone. No grieving mother, wife or daughter cares about what a “good person” she is… she needs hope. No person who is depressed over the meaninglessness of life cares about what a “good person” he is … he needs something to believe in.

With that settled, I think the next obstacle for me was viewing commissioning as a privilege. This issue has predominantly taken two forms: (1) going is an obligation and/or (2) I am not worthy/ready/capable to go.

If there is anything I have learned in the last few years from God it is that the word ‘obligation’ is married to the word ‘entitlement’ and neither of them are good words. They are cousins to words like ‘should,’ ‘earn,’ and ‘deserve.’ And it is my present opinion that these are all dangerous words. They imply that God works on a ledger system tallying up good works in one column and bad in another and that our lives are either in the black (i.e., more good than bad) or in the red (i.e., more bad than good). It gives us access to feeling better than others (i.e., she should’ve done this, I would’ve never done that) and feeling worse (i.e., I should’ve done this, They would’ve never done that.) So when we think God plays that game, we can get very ugly, very (VERY) quickly. When we think that God has obliged us to ‘go’ we feel good about ourselves when we go or bad when we don’t. We get angry at God for making ‘unreasonable demands’ when going doesn’t fit into our lives in a comfortable way. We feel inadequate or believe God is ‘mad at me’ when we haven’t put in our fair time. When we are ‘going’ we start to feel entitled. God should be giving me this or that, because I’ve done this or that for Him.

Oh, ladies, this is so, so, so wrong. So, so, so ugly.  Going IS NOT an obligation. God is not going to love you any more or any less based on whether or not you go. God is not tallying up anything when it comes to you. His calling you to go is an honor. A PRIVILEGE. The Creator of the Universe calling you to be a part of His story for the world. Imagine the President of the US called you up and asked for you to help out distributing food to the poor as part of his personal team. Would you be thinking ‘I can’t believe he wants that from me’? Or what if your favorite author called you up and said ‘Hey, I would love to have you be a part of my writing and editing team.’ Would it cross your mind that you’d better say yes or (s)he would be mad at you? No way, Jose! You’d be so floored by the privilege of being asked you would say “Yes! Yes! Yes!” … that is unless the second issue comes up.

Specifically, when we move through the obligation bit, we often get stuck in the “oh no… I am so not ______ enough to go” issue. Folks get crushed under the responsibility and fear of potentially disappointing God or failing. I see this so much. Folks talking about how they don’t know enough, aren’t strong enough, are too broken – you name it. But here’s the thing. If we were talking about the President or an author they could be wrong about what you can or cannot offer. You could disappoint them. However, we are not talking about the President or an author or any other limited human, we are talking about the Creator of the Universe, the Alpha and Omega. He knows you. He knows you better than you know yourself. And that means He knows EXACTLY what you are capable of. When He calls you to go – He is telling you about you (me about me!). He is telling us, who we are in Christ! He is demonstrating that He believes in us. For a moment, He is the Christopher Robin to our Pooh saying:

“Promise me you’ll always remember… You’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.”

He honors us.

Oooo…. One last thing…

I just want to share my absolute favorite hymn. They used to play it all the time when I was growing up in Catholic church and I have sang it to God with my heart and my mouth so many times over the course of my life. Even when I was far from Him this song was ever on my lips. May it inspire you: Here I am Lord.

Dearest Abba,

Here I am Lord. Is it I, Lord? I have heard you calling in the night. I will go, Lord, where you lead me. I will hold your people in my heart.

I love you too. Amen.

So Ladies here’s your assignment:

(1)   Own it. Make an authentic appraisal of how you struggle to ‘go’.

(2)   Wrestle it. I have stated my opinion that ‘going’ is not an obligation. That I think words like ‘obligation,’ ‘should’, ‘deserve,’ and ‘duty’ are part of system God is not about. Instead he calls us to see going as a privilege. What do you think?

(3)   Live it. Let’s each take the risk to be honest about where we are at with going. If you are called to go somewhere – say it! Then let’s support our sister. If you are confused – say it! Then let’s pray for and encourage each other.