My Man

I am just feeling overwhelmed with gratitude for my man and I want to share it.

My man is a very, very good man. People frequently miss that about him - I think because he doesn't have a loud presence, you know. He's the type that will comfortably discuss the latest sporting event with folks but typically ducks out if talk turns to politics or religion. He's also somewhat of a peace maker, so if the conversation gets heated he might waffle a bit to try and appease everyone at the table. And so, in that way, I think he can become almost invisible to folks. He's the guy with the nice smile but you don't know too much about him.

But God has blessed me with the incredible privilege of seeing and knowing David. Specifically, David is the guy who quietly does the dishes while everyone else drinks coffee. He's the guy who is listening to what your saying and filing it away so that he can surprise you with something thoughtful for your birthday.

For example, David knows exactly what all of my friends like to drink. Not because they told him, but because he watches. And, if that wasn't enough, without being asked goes to the grocery store and has it waiting for them if they are coming to dinner. Does he mention buying it just for them? Nope. Just lets them assume it's always there.

What kind of man does that?!? My man.

David loves in this sincere. quiet way and people totally overlook it and take it for granted (one of those people is me sometimes!), but he keeps on loving them (us) anyway! I have such an incredible amount to learn from him.

Thank you God for putting David in my life. I love him so. I love you, too.

Fasting or Dieting?

God totally has my number. Isn't it freakin' nonsense that He can see right down to your tippy-toes and you can't get away with anything!

So I've been abstaining from meat for the last 4-5 days. Specifically, as part of my study of the book of Daniel we were asked to choose something from which to abstain. To say no (on a fairly regular basis) to an overly indulgent world. Beth suggested meat (I am guessing because she lives in Texas and that's like saying I'm going to give up air there). And I immediately thought "I am going to do that too! I want to do that!"

I should have known, right then and there, that I was not sacrificing for the right reasons. I think some part of me did. But, I went on and have successfully abstained from meat for several days.

Today as I am sitting, drinking my coffee and enjoying the Word, I was asked to appraise the part of our culture that has indoctrinated me the most successfully. Not knowing what was to come, I honestly said this: "I am most indoctrinated by the belief that appearance is everything. I am not sure why. I think my mother and father place a very high premium on beauty and I never felt very beautiful. Smart... but not beautiful."

Then comes this sentence "In the coming weeks, we will perform some honest appraisals of our levels of integrity in this vastly enticing world." To which Parakletos replies "So Paula, why exactly did you give up meat? For me? Or for beauty?"

And I sat... caught! I was not giving up meat for even close to the right reasons, I was giving it up because on some level I hoped it would make me thinner and more beautiful. Yuck.

So this is wear I am sitting now. I've prayed for healing and offered to give-up, giving-up meat if that is what He has called me to do. But so far, I feel as though I am to stay the course - looking to God to transform my broken heart into a healed one; my broken motives into righteous ones.

Father God,

I love you Lord. Thank you for always seeing me, and always knowing just the right thing to say to wake me up. I am yours. Mold me, change me. Lift me out of brokenness. I want to worship you and not approval and beauty.

It is in the Gracious name of Jesus Christ I pray,

Amen.

A Prayer for the Blog

So this blog was conceived at the celebration ceremony for my Bible Study group last week (beautiful ladies pictured right!). As we were saying good-bye, I just knew I couldn't really say good-bye. I wanted and needed these women to keep walking beside me, even if we weren't going to be meeting every week.

One of the ladies, Theresa (2nd from the left), had already inspired me with her blog devoted to her family (4 gorgeous and well mannered kids!). So I thought "Okay, I'm going to keep these women in my life. I will start a blog devoted to my faith walk."

I had also been recently challenged by God to make my mornings about Him. To rise and spend my first morning coffee in the Word. It was about day two , when I realized that my sad, pre-coffee brain was not going to be able to effectively connect with God without some structure. So I decided to pick out a Bible study for the summer.

If you know me well, you know that my favorite Bible Study teacher is Beth Moore... so I immediately go to lifeway.com and start poking around. After an afternoon of looking through potential videos I decide on Beth's 12 week study of the book of Daniel (pictured left). Turns out Daniel did a lot more than survive the lion's den - he survived Babylon, an empire not unlike our current American culture. Specifically, in the first session Beth identifies Bablyon's cultural motto as "I am; and there is none besides me." translated "It's all about me."

It struck me as non-accidental that God would both prompt me to start a blog and remind me that it is not all about me in the same week! These blogs can become so self-indulgent and narcissistic. So I think it's appropriate to start this whole thing out with a prayer:

Adonai,

Please be with me as I begin composing this blog. You are my King and I am Your servant. Keep my heart humbled and honored by these Truths: that You are The Vine and I am a branch (apart from you I will wither and die); that every good and perfect gift comes from You (not me); and that You are faithful to complete the good work you started in me (and often don't need my help to do it).

Make this place about sharing my authentic faith walk (failures, doubts, and triumphs). May your Spirit guard my heart, challenging me to be honest and humbling me if I should become prideful. In short, this blog is about You not about me - and so long as it stays that way it will be Good.

I love you, too.

Amen.