#70 Aarti Party
You know God loves you when He orchestrates an entire season of the Food Network Star just to provide you with a Chicken Tikka Masala recipe. Okay, maybe it wasn't all about me - but it sure felt that way eating Aarti's recipe for dinner Sunday night at my folks house. I literally could have licked the plate. I was making all of my "isn't this the most delicious thing you've ever consumed" noises. Yumo. Thank you Aarti!
#71 My Mom's cooking
I realize that most people love their Mama's cooking, but I am not joking when I say my mom is an amazing cook. She will take on almost any cooking challenge, she is totally un-intimidated in the kitchen. The result of this approach, a sea of delicious (and new) food! Yay for me.
#72 Green Moutain's Wild Mountain Blueberry coffee
#73 Noosa Yoghurt - Raspberry flavor
If a person can have a yoghurt soul mate, I've found mine.
#74 Being called brave by a man (and dear friend) serving in Afghanistan.
Honestly, there is absolutely nothing like earning the respect of someone who really understands the meaning of bravery and service. I am entirely humbled.
#75 The "I am Second" website.
Seriously, check it out.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Feet washing
I had my feet washed on Thursday at WOW.
For weeks the leadership had been talking about serving the women in this way, a real enactment of the events that proceeded Easter. I had hoped to serve by washing feet, but because I was co-leading the large group it was suggested that other leaders volunteer for these positions. When thinking about others partaking, it seemed really beautiful - like a way to serve them. I envisioned those getting their feet washed feeling pampered and loved on.
This was in stark contrast to my own feelings about having my feet washed. Specifically, the minute this got announced, I began to worry my co-leader might try to wash my feet on the stage in front of everybody. My co-leader also happens to be the head of our section of WOW, Kim. The idea of Kim, someone I respect deeply, washing my feet made me want to crawl under a rock. No thank you.
But once the day arrived, there was no bucket on the stage - so I felt pretty confident I had dodged that bullet. And I was really sure when she didn't say anything about it as we were talking. Whew!
So I wander back to my seat and notice that absolutely no one is going to the feet washing stations. Ten beautiful women are sitting there, ready to wash and no one is going. This is certainly not going the way I had scripted in my head.
Then I started thinking about the Bible scene. We don't have a lot of detail about what most of the disciples were thinking. But my favorite disciple, Peter, spoke my feelings perfectly:
John 13: 4-10
so [Jesus] got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.
(I can imagine what I would be thinking at this moment... 'What is he doing! He looks like a servant! Oh, no! Oh, no! He's going to try to wash my feet. There is no way I can let him wash my feet!)
He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, "Lord are you going to wash my feet?"
(Translated: 'Jesus, this is bad plan. You are the leader here, and I am totally uncomfortable with you washing my feet.')
Jesus replied, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand."
"No," said Peter,"you shall never wash my feet."
(Translated: 'I know exactly what you are doing, you are acting like my servant! That makes me uncomfortable and it is totally backward. I am not going to do this.')
Jesus answered, "Unless I wash you, you have no part with me."
"Then, Lord," Simon Peter replied, "not just my feet but my hands and my head as well."
(Translated: (inside) Oh crap! He's serious. (spoken) If I have to do this, let's make this less like you are serving me and more like a baptism. )
Jesus answered, "Those who have had a bath need only to wash their feet; their whole body is clean."
(Translated: You've already had one baptism Peter, you don't need another. This is something different and you aren't getting out of it.)
After this all occurred to me, I realized that there is something really spiritually powerful - and initially unpleasant - about getting your feet washed. It was the disciples' (and possible our) first act of rejecting the order of this world. When Jesus washed the disciple's feet, he powerfully demonstrated the upside down nature of the gospel - the King is the Sacrifice, the Leader is the Servant, the 1st is the last. In this world, leaders don't wash servants feet, Kings don't die for their subjects - but in the Kingdom they do. That is the new way.
So... I got my feet washed. And it was initially really hard - I wanted to stop Jayme (my feet washer) and say "No, no, let me!" But I didn't. And she prayed over me and I cried. And I left a little more a citizen of the Kingdom of Heaven.
For weeks the leadership had been talking about serving the women in this way, a real enactment of the events that proceeded Easter. I had hoped to serve by washing feet, but because I was co-leading the large group it was suggested that other leaders volunteer for these positions. When thinking about others partaking, it seemed really beautiful - like a way to serve them. I envisioned those getting their feet washed feeling pampered and loved on.
This was in stark contrast to my own feelings about having my feet washed. Specifically, the minute this got announced, I began to worry my co-leader might try to wash my feet on the stage in front of everybody. My co-leader also happens to be the head of our section of WOW, Kim. The idea of Kim, someone I respect deeply, washing my feet made me want to crawl under a rock. No thank you.
But once the day arrived, there was no bucket on the stage - so I felt pretty confident I had dodged that bullet. And I was really sure when she didn't say anything about it as we were talking. Whew!
So I wander back to my seat and notice that absolutely no one is going to the feet washing stations. Ten beautiful women are sitting there, ready to wash and no one is going. This is certainly not going the way I had scripted in my head.
Then I started thinking about the Bible scene. We don't have a lot of detail about what most of the disciples were thinking. But my favorite disciple, Peter, spoke my feelings perfectly:
John 13: 4-10
so [Jesus] got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.
(I can imagine what I would be thinking at this moment... 'What is he doing! He looks like a servant! Oh, no! Oh, no! He's going to try to wash my feet. There is no way I can let him wash my feet!)
He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, "Lord are you going to wash my feet?"
(Translated: 'Jesus, this is bad plan. You are the leader here, and I am totally uncomfortable with you washing my feet.')
Jesus replied, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand."
"No," said Peter,"you shall never wash my feet."
(Translated: 'I know exactly what you are doing, you are acting like my servant! That makes me uncomfortable and it is totally backward. I am not going to do this.')
Jesus answered, "Unless I wash you, you have no part with me."
"Then, Lord," Simon Peter replied, "not just my feet but my hands and my head as well."
(Translated: (inside) Oh crap! He's serious. (spoken) If I have to do this, let's make this less like you are serving me and more like a baptism. )
Jesus answered, "Those who have had a bath need only to wash their feet; their whole body is clean."
(Translated: You've already had one baptism Peter, you don't need another. This is something different and you aren't getting out of it.)
After this all occurred to me, I realized that there is something really spiritually powerful - and initially unpleasant - about getting your feet washed. It was the disciples' (and possible our) first act of rejecting the order of this world. When Jesus washed the disciple's feet, he powerfully demonstrated the upside down nature of the gospel - the King is the Sacrifice, the Leader is the Servant, the 1st is the last. In this world, leaders don't wash servants feet, Kings don't die for their subjects - but in the Kingdom they do. That is the new way.
So... I got my feet washed. And it was initially really hard - I wanted to stop Jayme (my feet washer) and say "No, no, let me!" But I didn't. And she prayed over me and I cried. And I left a little more a citizen of the Kingdom of Heaven.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Affection
I was teaching yesterday on primary and secondary reinforcers. Briefly, a primary reinforcer is something that we (humans) find rewarding naturally (i.e., food, water, sex, etc.). A secondary reinforcer, on the other hand, is something that we only find rewarding due to it's association with a primary reinforcer. Money is a perfect example - people don't love money because we pop out of the womb having an affinity for little green slips of paper, we love money because of what we think it can get us.
Well for a very long time, it was thought that affection (hugging, cuddling, etc.) was a secondary reinforcer developed through it's association with food during nursing. But a very bright scientist, Dr. Harry Harlow, did an experiment that challenged all that (Check it out here). It's results were astounding, basically he found that not only is affection a primary reinforcer - it is THE primary reinforcer; it is exponentially more desirable than food! In short, our desire for it looks almost insatiable.
I was telling my students this calls everything we assume about "good enough" parenting into question. Basically, to be a good parent is a whole lot more than just "putting a roof over their head and filling mouths with food." Then, out of nowhere (I've never said this in another lecture and I've taught this material more times than I can count), I said "and this ought to make you really suspicious of anyone who says they 'don't need people' or 'don't like to be affectionate,' because they are basically saying they don't need something that looks foundational to life."
This really got me thinking about affection, security, and the fall. About all of the people I've known and the ways that I, myself, have tried to deny my need for affection or to live without affection. About this ache that I feel to be entirely loved, all of the time and how ridiculously unattainable that desire is in the world as we know it.
I was reading C.S. Lewis' The Weight of Glory last night. In it he discusses how our desires are rooted in possibilities (not necessarily actualities). Basically, he was saying that if you see someone who is hungry you can pretty much assume food exists - not necessarily that that particular man will be fed but that the possibility of being fed exists. Similarly, I wonder if this huge ache for all encompassing affection means that the possibility of it's satiation exists. And if so what that means?
I think the Christian faith provides a pretty compelling answer that (1) our ache is real (a reflection of the brokenness of the world and us), (2) our ache is meaningful (it reflects a possibility of satiation) and (3) our ache will be fulfilled (through ultimate reunification with God).
Well for a very long time, it was thought that affection (hugging, cuddling, etc.) was a secondary reinforcer developed through it's association with food during nursing. But a very bright scientist, Dr. Harry Harlow, did an experiment that challenged all that (Check it out here). It's results were astounding, basically he found that not only is affection a primary reinforcer - it is THE primary reinforcer; it is exponentially more desirable than food! In short, our desire for it looks almost insatiable.
I was telling my students this calls everything we assume about "good enough" parenting into question. Basically, to be a good parent is a whole lot more than just "putting a roof over their head and filling mouths with food." Then, out of nowhere (I've never said this in another lecture and I've taught this material more times than I can count), I said "and this ought to make you really suspicious of anyone who says they 'don't need people' or 'don't like to be affectionate,' because they are basically saying they don't need something that looks foundational to life."
This really got me thinking about affection, security, and the fall. About all of the people I've known and the ways that I, myself, have tried to deny my need for affection or to live without affection. About this ache that I feel to be entirely loved, all of the time and how ridiculously unattainable that desire is in the world as we know it.
I was reading C.S. Lewis' The Weight of Glory last night. In it he discusses how our desires are rooted in possibilities (not necessarily actualities). Basically, he was saying that if you see someone who is hungry you can pretty much assume food exists - not necessarily that that particular man will be fed but that the possibility of being fed exists. Similarly, I wonder if this huge ache for all encompassing affection means that the possibility of it's satiation exists. And if so what that means?
I think the Christian faith provides a pretty compelling answer that (1) our ache is real (a reflection of the brokenness of the world and us), (2) our ache is meaningful (it reflects a possibility of satiation) and (3) our ache will be fulfilled (through ultimate reunification with God).
Friday, March 4, 2011
Nichole Nordeman
Here are two songs that are resonating for me today, both by artist Nichole Nordeman.
I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much
Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one
Every girl young and old has to face her own reflection
Twirl around, stare it down
What’s the mirror gonna say
With some luck, you’ll measure up
But you might not hold a candle to the rest
“Is that your best?” says the mirror to the mess
But there’s a whisper in the noise
Can you hear a little voice
and he says
Has anybody told you you’re beautiful?
You might agree if you could see what I see
Oh
‘Cuz everything about you is incredible
You should have seen me smile the day that I made you beautiful for me
If it’s true beauty lies in the eye of the beholder
I want my life and what’s inside to give him something to behold
I want a heart that’s captivating
I wanna hear my Father say
Close your eyes
Look inside
Let me see the you that you’ve been trying to hide
Long ago, I made you so very beautiful
So I ought to know you’re beautiful
Legacy
I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much
I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world
I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy
I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthy list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy
Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one
Beautiful for Me
Every girl young and old has to face her own reflection
Twirl around, stare it down
What’s the mirror gonna say
With some luck, you’ll measure up
But you might not hold a candle to the rest
“Is that your best?” says the mirror to the mess
But there’s a whisper in the noise
Can you hear a little voice
and he says
Has anybody told you you’re beautiful?
You might agree if you could see what I see
Oh
‘Cuz everything about you is incredible
You should have seen me smile the day that I made you beautiful for me
If it’s true beauty lies in the eye of the beholder
I want my life and what’s inside to give him something to behold
I want a heart that’s captivating
I wanna hear my Father say
Close your eyes
Look inside
Let me see the you that you’ve been trying to hide
Long ago, I made you so very beautiful
So I ought to know you’re beautiful
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
#61 Playing "Humming with Larry" with Sydney on Monday night. Then having her love it so much she wanted to play again on Tuesday night.
#62 Sydney turning to me last night and saying "Mama, why don't we be best friends?"
#63 Sharing tissues at a great service this weekend with my best friend.
#64 The familiar smell of someone you love.
For me this weekend it was Jackie's detergent smell. I don't know how many times I've cried and been comforted by that smell. It's so safe.
This morning it was the smell of David in the shower (a mix of steam, Lever 2000 and Panteen shampoo). That is my man - my husband.
#65 The feel of David's freshly groomed hair.
#66 Falling in love with someone (or more than one someone) for the first time.
This weekend it was meeting up with Christel and Ty at the movie the Grace Card. They bought out a convenience store before coming to the show, so Christel had a Mary Poppin's like purse with treats that just kept pouring forth including (but not limited to) gummy bears, a kit kat, some sort of gummy fish, and a two liter of Coke! Also memorable are Ty's hugs. He hugs me like he's my brother. And there is nothing uncomfortable or over-familiar about it, just safe - like I've known him my whole life. Christel is the same, she's so tender. Throughout the show she kept topping off my soda with the two-liter (out of a cup she got for herself by the way). That's it - I'm smitten.
#67 When someone you love is happy.
This morning I got a call from a very dear friend of ours, Chris Duarte (Duar for short). He called just to say he's been thinking a lot about us - which was lovely in and of itself. The vulnerability of that sort of authentic communication - priceless. But also, there was a lightness in his voice that just lifted me up. He was really happy in a way he hasn't been (or at least sounded to me) in awhile.
#68 When another someone you love it happy.
During my call with Duar this morning, he told me my Seth (OK he belongs to a few other amazing ladies first but he still feels like my Seth) was "profoundly affected" by his visit to the farm house a weekend or so back. By that he means Seth is enamored and dreaming about the possibilities of his future. *Sigh* That makes me content just thinking about it.
#69 For an end where it is all good, all the time. For no more tears, or good-byes, or death. For an end that means I will get to be with Jesus - see Him face to face. That He will know me by name and be excited to see me. For the fact that all of my shame - the shame that on this Earth marks every positive moment I get, that makes me feel embarrassed when I am noticed for something good - will NOT be there. I won't look down or hide from His affection - I will run to it, vulnerable and free.
#62 Sydney turning to me last night and saying "Mama, why don't we be best friends?"
#63 Sharing tissues at a great service this weekend with my best friend.
#64 The familiar smell of someone you love.
For me this weekend it was Jackie's detergent smell. I don't know how many times I've cried and been comforted by that smell. It's so safe.
This morning it was the smell of David in the shower (a mix of steam, Lever 2000 and Panteen shampoo). That is my man - my husband.
#65 The feel of David's freshly groomed hair.
#66 Falling in love with someone (or more than one someone) for the first time.
This weekend it was meeting up with Christel and Ty at the movie the Grace Card. They bought out a convenience store before coming to the show, so Christel had a Mary Poppin's like purse with treats that just kept pouring forth including (but not limited to) gummy bears, a kit kat, some sort of gummy fish, and a two liter of Coke! Also memorable are Ty's hugs. He hugs me like he's my brother. And there is nothing uncomfortable or over-familiar about it, just safe - like I've known him my whole life. Christel is the same, she's so tender. Throughout the show she kept topping off my soda with the two-liter (out of a cup she got for herself by the way). That's it - I'm smitten.
#67 When someone you love is happy.
This morning I got a call from a very dear friend of ours, Chris Duarte (Duar for short). He called just to say he's been thinking a lot about us - which was lovely in and of itself. The vulnerability of that sort of authentic communication - priceless. But also, there was a lightness in his voice that just lifted me up. He was really happy in a way he hasn't been (or at least sounded to me) in awhile.
#68 When another someone you love it happy.
During my call with Duar this morning, he told me my Seth (OK he belongs to a few other amazing ladies first but he still feels like my Seth) was "profoundly affected" by his visit to the farm house a weekend or so back. By that he means Seth is enamored and dreaming about the possibilities of his future. *Sigh* That makes me content just thinking about it.
#69 For an end where it is all good, all the time. For no more tears, or good-byes, or death. For an end that means I will get to be with Jesus - see Him face to face. That He will know me by name and be excited to see me. For the fact that all of my shame - the shame that on this Earth marks every positive moment I get, that makes me feel embarrassed when I am noticed for something good - will NOT be there. I won't look down or hide from His affection - I will run to it, vulnerable and free.
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