I can't believe it's been almost three weeks since my last post. I've had some half formed ideas about what I wanted to post - even some half written posts - but nothing would come out all the way.
When I think about my walk with God right now, its been a pretty active time. The most poignant moment happened the Thursday before last. Specifically, during WOW a website where spouses can systematically search for affair partners was mentioned as an example of the darkness in the world. In the moment, I thought I was ok - but boy o boy did the enemy see a big wide crack in my armor. By the time I made it to my car and driving to work, my mind was filled to the brim with fantasies that David was having some sort of organized affair. (If you don't know this about me already, this is my Achilles heal). I knew in the moment something significant was happening, that I was being confronted with a choice - to trust David or to crazily spiral down into a pit of insecurity. I prayed, I said my Bible verses out loud, I called in reinforcements... It felt like a day long battle, little moments of victory here, assaults on the left flank there.
I remember hearing somewhere recently that the enemy works by wearing us down, by relentlessly pursuing until we give in. That is certainly what it felt like. And it's hard to fully describe the intensity of the whole thing - I mean we are talking about a battle predominantly occurring in my head, but honestly there were moments when I was physically SHAKING I was so scared. Crazy right?
But I stayed the course, I didn't give in and start acting like an insecure lunatic. I didn't let my mind wander into a pit of darkness. I just kept resisting by praying and speaking the Truth.
Today the whole thing seems a little bonkers - like if one little comment can trigger that sort of panic, how on Earth would I react in the face of an actual physical danger? Yet, I know that my faith is quite clear that often our most intense battles are not physical ones.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
#58 Healing moments
I am working with a man who is struggling right now. And this week we had a real heart to heart about some concerns he was having about the way our work had gone so far. It took us awhile to get on the same page about what the trouble was - but we slogged it out. And in a brief snip of a moment, I saw how I had fallen short in our work. I immediately apologized - and you know what, that apology was powerful. I mean the infraction wasn't huge but something about saying "I'm so sorry" just immediately filled the room up with healing. Both of us were tearful. I am so privileged to be a part of something like that.
#59 Unexpected happy text messages
This week I've gotten several delightful and surprising texts: a couple of "just thinking about you texts" from loved ones, a note requesting to drop off a small gift, a message asking how my dear friend was surviving a Midwestern storm. All just making me feel thought of and loved. I am so lucky.
#60 Surprise Pashmina
One of my Bible Study Ladies, Kris, showed up with a pile of gorgeous pashminas (fancy scarfs) from the Middle East last Thursday. She was giving them out to us just as a special surprise. Just looking at them brought me back to one of my favorite activities; specifically, encountering anything from another culture. I just love how the art, architecture or wares from another country strike my senses. It's like I immediately recognize this thing as "different" and "unfamiliar", but also "beautiful".
I am working with a man who is struggling right now. And this week we had a real heart to heart about some concerns he was having about the way our work had gone so far. It took us awhile to get on the same page about what the trouble was - but we slogged it out. And in a brief snip of a moment, I saw how I had fallen short in our work. I immediately apologized - and you know what, that apology was powerful. I mean the infraction wasn't huge but something about saying "I'm so sorry" just immediately filled the room up with healing. Both of us were tearful. I am so privileged to be a part of something like that.
#59 Unexpected happy text messages
This week I've gotten several delightful and surprising texts: a couple of "just thinking about you texts" from loved ones, a note requesting to drop off a small gift, a message asking how my dear friend was surviving a Midwestern storm. All just making me feel thought of and loved. I am so lucky.
#60 Surprise Pashmina
One of my Bible Study Ladies, Kris, showed up with a pile of gorgeous pashminas (fancy scarfs) from the Middle East last Thursday. She was giving them out to us just as a special surprise. Just looking at them brought me back to one of my favorite activities; specifically, encountering anything from another culture. I just love how the art, architecture or wares from another country strike my senses. It's like I immediately recognize this thing as "different" and "unfamiliar", but also "beautiful".
Friday, February 4, 2011
Music on My Mind
Artist: Matt Maher; Title: Alive Again
Artist: Switchfoot; Title: Your Love is Song
Artist: Britt Nicole; Title: Hanging On (Acoustic)
Artist: Chris August; Title: 7 X 70
If you don't have time to check them all out - please check out 7 X 70. It is really beautiful.
Artist: Switchfoot; Title: Your Love is Song
Artist: Britt Nicole; Title: Hanging On (Acoustic)
Artist: Chris August; Title: 7 X 70
If you don't have time to check them all out - please check out 7 X 70. It is really beautiful.
Verse of the day
I subscribe to Air1's verse of the day and today's verse was just too beautiful not to share.
Ephesians 3: 17b-18
And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ. (NIV)
And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you'll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ's love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God. (The Message)
Ephesians 3: 17b-18
And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ. (NIV)
And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you'll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ's love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God. (The Message)
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Learn the unforced rhythms of grace
I studied Matthew 11:28-30 this morning. It's one of the most famous passages of scripture:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest..."
It's beautiful as is...
But did you know it immediately follows on the heals of Jesus having an indignant outburst about the cities that have rejected his message? I mean two sentences before He's going on about "Woe to Chorizon" and "for it will be more bearable for Sodom on the day of judgment than for you." I mean, He's clearly frustrated and disappointed with the stubbornness and hard hardheartedness of the people of these cities; people whom he sees as blessed and educated - in appearance righteous and powerful.
I don't know about you, but I can relate to that frustration. Looking around at all of our privilege... our money, our security, our over-familiarity with Christ. In some ways we've made Him into a bedtime story for our children; we've neutered His message to be about accumulating wealth or joining a club with great benefits and low entrance standards. It's ridiculous. There's nothing radical about us; we need to wake up. And if we won't do the right thing - who on earth will!
And then, out of nowhere really, Jesus says a prayer. He says "Thank you Father, Lord of heaven and earth. You've concealed your ways from sophisticates and know-it-alls, but spelled them out clearly to ordinary people. Yes, Father, that's the way you like to work. "
And then, Jesus reminds me that God is not present where we might think. That just because Capernaum might look religious - it doesn't mean it is. All of their laws and work to keep up appearances is just bull. That all their legalism and pride is actually a guarantee of their blindness, because God HIDES from those folks.
And I imagine these people he's talking to, they are thinking something like "Well if those people - who look so good from the outside, who work their tushes off day and night following all of God's rules - if God's HIDING from THEM , boy am I screwed."
But Jesus says this: "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."
He says let me teach you grace. LET ME TEACH YOU GRACE.
Are you tired? Are you worn out trying to be perfect or make other people perfect? LET ME TEACH YOU GRACE!
Are you frustrated with the BS? Are you disillusioned about the people in power? Me too, LET ME TEACH YOU GRACE!
Family, my sincere prayer today is that we will let Jesus teach us grace. Teach me grace.
Amen
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest..."
It's beautiful as is...
But did you know it immediately follows on the heals of Jesus having an indignant outburst about the cities that have rejected his message? I mean two sentences before He's going on about "Woe to Chorizon" and "for it will be more bearable for Sodom on the day of judgment than for you." I mean, He's clearly frustrated and disappointed with the stubbornness and hard hardheartedness of the people of these cities; people whom he sees as blessed and educated - in appearance righteous and powerful.
I don't know about you, but I can relate to that frustration. Looking around at all of our privilege... our money, our security, our over-familiarity with Christ. In some ways we've made Him into a bedtime story for our children; we've neutered His message to be about accumulating wealth or joining a club with great benefits and low entrance standards. It's ridiculous. There's nothing radical about us; we need to wake up. And if we won't do the right thing - who on earth will!
And then, out of nowhere really, Jesus says a prayer. He says "Thank you Father, Lord of heaven and earth. You've concealed your ways from sophisticates and know-it-alls, but spelled them out clearly to ordinary people. Yes, Father, that's the way you like to work. "
And then, Jesus reminds me that God is not present where we might think. That just because Capernaum might look religious - it doesn't mean it is. All of their laws and work to keep up appearances is just bull. That all their legalism and pride is actually a guarantee of their blindness, because God HIDES from those folks.
And I imagine these people he's talking to, they are thinking something like "Well if those people - who look so good from the outside, who work their tushes off day and night following all of God's rules - if God's HIDING from THEM , boy am I screwed."
But Jesus says this: "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."
He says let me teach you grace. LET ME TEACH YOU GRACE.
Are you tired? Are you worn out trying to be perfect or make other people perfect? LET ME TEACH YOU GRACE!
Are you frustrated with the BS? Are you disillusioned about the people in power? Me too, LET ME TEACH YOU GRACE!
Family, my sincere prayer today is that we will let Jesus teach us grace. Teach me grace.
Amen
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