He
who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said,
“Write it down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” – Revelation 21: 5
Today I am sighing in my spirit –
saying “Oh Lord, please let it be! I am so thirsty for something new.” This is
ironic because right now my life is full of everything new. New home (we just
moved – which explains the late post… sorry). New relationship status (from
married to nearly divorced). New season (welcome summer, with it’s new daylight
hours, temperatures and clothing). But somehow these new things are not what I
am aching for… sometimes I am confused and think they are what I am aching for…
a change of scenery or new outfit or a new bit of attention… but not really.
They never satisfy for very long at all. And the wave comes up again –
“Something new Lord. Something NEW!”
Sometimes in my life, often
unexpectedly, I have happened upon the right kind of new. For example, when I
was at one of the lowest points in my life I met a new kind of friend – my
Jackie. Prior to knowing Jackie I was a very emotionally distant woman. My
expectation in friendships was that folks were there to enjoy time or space
with you but they would not stand the test of time, or be there when it really
counted. Those things were just too hard for most. So I believed that in this
life you are really in it on your own.
But Jackie was a new kind of friend…
she challenged every idea I had about friendship; about how people lived life
side by side. At first this was not very pleasant. Jackie can attest, we fought
ALL OF THE TIME. One of our biggest rows involved Jackie and I driving together
and Jackie actively challenging my idea that we live life alone. She said something
like, “Well Paula, that is just bull; we don’t start this life, live this life
or do anything on our own.” Oooo I was so mad! I was snappy and condescending.
I think I even slammed the door when I got out of the car. I probably had an
inner fight with Jackie carrying on this dialogue for weeks after that moment.
And you know Jackie was right… she
often is (but no one tell her that!)… but she did NOT convince me in that car.
Nor did she win any of the intellectual debates I had with her in my head (I am
a very good debater – especially when I have complete control over what the
other person says). She changed me by BEING a new kind of friend. By never
leaving. By being there when things got hard. By not dodging difficult
conversations. By not allowing me to be illusioned about how I was living alone
because her beautiful self was ALWAYS THERE!
Now THAT is the kinda new I am
talking about. THAT is the kinda new that can change your life. We long for
that kinda new. I NEED THAT KIND OF NEW.
And you know what it is? That kind
of new is the Kingdom. Jackie was and is what a friend in the Kingdom of God is
all about.
“A friend loves at all times…”
Proverbs 17:17a
See the “new” I am thirsty for is
God’s new Kingdom. God’s economy. God’s friendship. God’s community. God’s
grace. God’s righteousness. God’s plan. God’s way. It is the longing for His Kingdom
to reign first in my life and then in the world. It is THAT new. Not just any
new. His new.
I have some songs that I love that
speak directly to this issue. Will you listen to them with me? I mean really
listen… slow down… reflect… let them speak to your soul.
The first is C.S.
Lewis Song by Brooke Fraser. In it she writes
about the unsettled longing of waiting for the Kingdom; of the resistance, the
groaning and the aching. In it she loosely quotes C.S. Lewis singing “If I find
in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy, I can only conclude that I
was not made for here.” Our longing for the new is written into our very souls.
It cannot be satisfied with the dead decaying world around us. It also speaks
to our fear of the new. Fraser writes “But my comfort would prefer for me to be
numb and avoid the impending birth of who I was born to become.” Wow ... sit
with that for a second. Ever been afraid of the Kingdom? Ever known the new was
going to demand a new you? Ever resisted? Boy have I. But “hope is coming for
me!” – An aside, can I just say I so want that lyric printed on a t-shirt (i.e.,
“Hope is coming for you.”)?
The second is Beautiful
Things by Gungor. You probably know this
one from our services. This song is about despair, hopeless and redemption.
About our looking around at the death and decay of our world and not seeing the
new (boy have I been there more than once). “All this pain, I wonder if I’ll
ever find my way; I wonder if my life could really change at all.” Yet there is repeated reminder of who our God
is and what His work is: “You make beautiful things, you make beautiful things
out the dust. You make beautiful things, you make beautiful things out of us.”
The third and final is a song called
Your Misfortune by
Mike Doughty. This song is about
ultimately finding the Kingdom in our relationship with God. The song is
written from God’s perspective – begging us to seek Him when we are rejected,
lonely and afraid. “When everybody says ‘No, no, no. Well it’s your misfortune
and none of my own.” They’re wrong, wrong, wrong. Well it’s your misfortune
that sweetens my song. I can be the friend you want. I can be your confidant. I
can be the right reminder at the right time; throwing out the life line. Stand
in the light.”
Dearest
Abba,
I am
feeling it today Lord, the deep ache for your Kingdom. I know my sisters are
feeling it too. Pour out more of You. More of Your new Kingdom. Rain the
newness that satisfies. I thank you for the ways your Kingdom has already
infected my life. My friendships. My community. My church. But I only want more
of You. Your Kingdom come. Your will be done.
I
love you too. Amen.
(1) Own it. Do you long for something new?
What new things are you hoping for?
(2) Wrestle it. Several things can get in
our way when we are trying to find God’s new in our life. It can be fear of
change or discomfort (as Brooke Fraser suggests). It can be unresolved grief or
hopelessness (as Gungor talks about). It can be rejection or loneliness (as
Mike Doughty discusses). What resonates the most deeply for you?
(3) Live it. We need to find a way to expect
and see the new things God is doing all around us all the time. I think the
best way to do that is for us to devote some time to looking for the Kingdom
actively and sharing with each other our encounters. SOOOO here is my
challenge: (1) post at least 1 story where you have encountered “something new”
from your past and (2) make a public
commitment to look for “something new” for the next two weeks and share what
you find.
p.s. Have I mentioned that I am so, so privileged to serve you???
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