Finding the Cross

So we were asked this Easter Sunday to consider whether or not Jesus was the only way… whether or not the cross was the only way…

I remember the first time I really started thinking about this issue. I was probably 12 or 13. The sheer horror of the cross overtook me. The idea that God authored that horrible death disgusted me. Torture, hatred, blood, death… why?

I decided then, that if God was: (1) loving and (2) real; he would have come up with something much better than a bloody horrific mess to deal with sin. And because of that (and the rampant hypocrisy I saw in the Church) I walked away from the faith. I walked away for a long time – somewhere in the ballpark of 12 years. I tried on a great number of faiths/anti-faiths in that time; including but not limited to: Paganism, Agnosticism, Buddhism and (as I affectionately called it) Paula-faith. None of it ever settled or satisfied for very long.

I was 25 and my daughter, Sydney, was 5 months old when God finally caught up to me. He found me at 2 in the morning rocking Sydney as she slept peacefully in my arms. I remember looking at her little sleeping face and being hit by a tidal wave of love so big it felt like my chest was going to explode. In fact, I started to cry because it physically hurt to love her so much. And as I rocked her… overwhelmed by love… I felt God whisper to my heart “And that is just a fraction of how much I love you.”

Something shifted in that moment. I was going to find Him again.

But it was a rough road back to the cross. I was mad about a lot of things. I didn’t understand sin. I didn’t understand wrath. I didn’t understand hell. And as a result, I DID NOT understand the cross.

I wish I could, in a single post, walk you through all of the lessons God has taught me to bring me back to the cross. I want to talk to you about how he taught me about sin and wrath and even hell. But today I want to highlight one lesson – the lesson that sets Jesus Christ, his death and resurrection, at the center of redemption story that will eventually claim the whole world. And at the center of that lesson is a very bloody and brutal cross. A cross that simultaneously taught me about three things:  

First, the cross showed me about people, power and sin. Look, even if you don’t think Jesus was the son of God, you have to admit that the cross seems a rather brutal punishment. I mean he didn’t kill anybody. He walked around talking about forgiveness and love. He even healed people. But he also upset the status quo. And His open rejection of the power structure in the Jewish community elicited the most obvious manifestation of hatred and pride and sin that I can think of. And it came from the religious leaders, the MORAL ELITE, of the day. The folks most people thought of as the ‘religiously committed’, ‘devoted to God’ kinda people killed Him… brutally… and for no reason accept He scared them. That is naked sin. That is the reality of the thing lurking around in all of our hearts. It is capable of much worse that you can imagine.  

So the cross exposes sin. If you look directly at the cross, you see what unaddressed sin makes humans into and it is UGLY.

Second, the cross showed me about love. I remember the day God taught me this lesson. I was praying while I was making my bed or folding laundry or something equally mundane. I was being snarky with God about how he didn’t know one thing about suffering because he didn’t know anything about losing a child. And then He said (again to my heart) “Oh really? What about watching your child be brutally murdered, having the power to stop it at any second, but you don’t?” I fell to my knees next to my bed. My breath taken away. I knew right then that I was not capable of a love like that. That there is no love in my flesh that sacrifices Sydney for others. That I had never seen a love like that in any story I had ever read, in any religion I had ever explored.

So the cross demonstrates love. If you look directly at the cross, you see exactly how far God is willing to go.

Third, what the cross showed me was redemption. You see, the cross during Jesus time was not just a horrific death but also a POWERFUL emotional symbol. It represented the crushing authority of the Roman Empire and the merciless death of those who dared to defy it. Think the swastika but with actual dead, decaying people hanging on it. It was intended to elicit raw fear and complete submission. Now, walk down the street. Check out the cover of your Bible. Look at your own neck. What is likely there – a cross! The most recognizable emotional symbol on the planet. Except now it symbolizes GRACE. It symbolizes LOVE. God has literally taken the most vicious emotional symbol in human history and redeemed it.

So the cross demonstrates redemption. If you look directly at the cross, you see exactly what God can take back and make beautiful.

So is the cross the only way? I don’t know. Could God have come up with something different? Perhaps – He is God after all. But when I look at the cross now I feel confronted, loved and redeemed. And I can’t think of any other way to make that happen.

Dearest Abba,

Thank you. Thank you for your patience with this hard-hearted, stubborn child of yours. Thank you for the cross. Thank you that you are willing to teach me, day in and day out, about Your ways. Happy Easter. I am so delighted to be your child.

I love you, too. Amen.

So Ladies here’s your assignment:

(1)   Own it. Has God brought you to the cross? If yes, how did get you there? If no, what is it like to be asked this question? What comes up for you when you consider the cross?

(2)   Wrestle it. I mentioned that I walked away from the faith due to my initial reaction to the horror of the cross. What is your initial, genuine reaction to the cross? Have you ever wondered “why the cross”? If yes, what did that look like? If no, how do you understand it?

(3)   Live it. Let’s talk about the implications of living in light of the cross. How does being confronted with sin, being loved unimaginably and knowing that complete redemption is the goal affect the way you live your life?