Ok - As if the aesthetic beauty of the farmhouse were not unbelievable enough (it's really unbelievable)... this place has a history.
Here's part of it: A Christian song writer named Josh Garrels retreated to and wrote an album while living there. I'd never heard of him before, but I looked him up and this is what I found:
"The Stand" - Josh Garrels from Josh Garrels on Vimeo.
WOW - Seriously? I am too humbled to even speak to what a legacy like this means.
Thank you Lord.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
It's a T-day
I feel terrible today.... tired and terrified. It's a T-day.
I imagine I am hard to be around on T-days - either full of fake smiles and laughs or somber and quiet.
I really hate this feeling.
I've drawn near to the Lord. I've even received a word just for me:
Psalm 143:8 Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in You. Show me the way I should go, for to You I entrust my life.
Unfortunately, it feels like a drop of water in the dessert - just as quickly dried up as it is poured.
It's fear that's turned me into this dessert. Fear, fear, fear.
Love, life - they cannot tolerate fear. So if you are going to be afraid - you cannot simultaneously love.This is ironic, because it is love that gets me into this mess every time. Or at least the risk of injury that loving others requires.
During our most recent series, Risk Love, Pastor Kevin discussed how we can love, only because we first trust God. The risk of injury for us is too much to bear without God's help, or the assurances of God's foundation.
Looks like that verse is incredibly timely indeed.
I love you.
I imagine I am hard to be around on T-days - either full of fake smiles and laughs or somber and quiet.
I really hate this feeling.
I've drawn near to the Lord. I've even received a word just for me:
Psalm 143:8 Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in You. Show me the way I should go, for to You I entrust my life.
Unfortunately, it feels like a drop of water in the dessert - just as quickly dried up as it is poured.
It's fear that's turned me into this dessert. Fear, fear, fear.
Love, life - they cannot tolerate fear. So if you are going to be afraid - you cannot simultaneously love.This is ironic, because it is love that gets me into this mess every time. Or at least the risk of injury that loving others requires.
During our most recent series, Risk Love, Pastor Kevin discussed how we can love, only because we first trust God. The risk of injury for us is too much to bear without God's help, or the assurances of God's foundation.
Looks like that verse is incredibly timely indeed.
I love you.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
I'm having a Dixie Chicks day. I am not generally a country music fan, but I love the Dixie Chicks. I love them altogether, but I really love Natalie Maines voice. There is something about the way her voice sounds, it makes my soul soar. It might be the most beautiful voice I've ever heard.
Anyway, it got me thinking about all of the secular artists that I really love and am grateful for. I post a lot of Christian music, but I still have a huge heart for beautiful artistry and honest lyrics, and some of the best are found in the secular world. So here are my favorites...
#86 Ben Folds - maybe my favorite musician of all time. The whole package - incredible musical talent, matched with incredible lyrical ability. Here's links to some of my favorite songs: Magic, The Luckiest (David and my song), Mess, Annie Waits, Trusted
#87 Weezer - my favorite album is Pinkerton. Which is not going to win any family friendly awards, but is raw and honest. It was also the soundtrack to my trip to Brazil and my closest high school friendship (love you, Steffie Lou).
#88 REM - my favorite album is Up. Not their most popular album, but gripping in its gravity and somber timbre.Probably my favorite song from the album is At My Most Beautiful
#89 Sarah Mclachlan - everything. Well not everything - but that ethereal voice can make nearly everything sound beautiful. She also reminds me of my Jackie; especially, when she sings the Beatles Blackbird.
#90 Tori Amos - my favorite album is Little Earthquakes. And my favorite song is Precious Things. This song is incredibly raw and angry - and doesn't spell the most rosy picture of Christians either. But it is so, so honest and beautiful. It speaks directly to some of my deepest hurts in adolescence.
#91 Counting Crows - especially the album August and Everything After. Best song is Anna Begins.And it be wrong not to mention Rain King and Mr. Jones (which are single handedly responsible for delivering me from many a bad mood).
#92 James Taylor - again, everything. He's my male equivalent to Natalie Maines - His voice makes me melt. My favorite - Carolina in My Mind.
#93 Marc Broussard - This man is AMAZING! Here are a couple of my favorites: Home, Hope for Me Yet, Let the Music Get Down in Your Soul
#94 Mike Doughty - His Truth is Marching On, 27 Jennifers, Unsingable Name
WOW! I've been writing for an hour and I still haven't gotten to the Beatles, Tom Petty, Heart ..
Wow Lord. Do have an incredible list of things to be grateful for. Thank you for all of these talented people; many of whom are willing to be open, vulnerable and honest without the guarantee of your (our our) acceptance. It has been such an incredible encouragement and blessing to me. I love you.
Amen.
Anyway, it got me thinking about all of the secular artists that I really love and am grateful for. I post a lot of Christian music, but I still have a huge heart for beautiful artistry and honest lyrics, and some of the best are found in the secular world. So here are my favorites...
#86 Ben Folds - maybe my favorite musician of all time. The whole package - incredible musical talent, matched with incredible lyrical ability. Here's links to some of my favorite songs: Magic, The Luckiest (David and my song), Mess, Annie Waits, Trusted
#87 Weezer - my favorite album is Pinkerton. Which is not going to win any family friendly awards, but is raw and honest. It was also the soundtrack to my trip to Brazil and my closest high school friendship (love you, Steffie Lou).
#88 REM - my favorite album is Up. Not their most popular album, but gripping in its gravity and somber timbre.Probably my favorite song from the album is At My Most Beautiful
#89 Sarah Mclachlan - everything. Well not everything - but that ethereal voice can make nearly everything sound beautiful. She also reminds me of my Jackie; especially, when she sings the Beatles Blackbird.
#90 Tori Amos - my favorite album is Little Earthquakes. And my favorite song is Precious Things. This song is incredibly raw and angry - and doesn't spell the most rosy picture of Christians either. But it is so, so honest and beautiful. It speaks directly to some of my deepest hurts in adolescence.
#91 Counting Crows - especially the album August and Everything After. Best song is Anna Begins.And it be wrong not to mention Rain King and Mr. Jones (which are single handedly responsible for delivering me from many a bad mood).
#92 James Taylor - again, everything. He's my male equivalent to Natalie Maines - His voice makes me melt. My favorite - Carolina in My Mind.
#93 Marc Broussard - This man is AMAZING! Here are a couple of my favorites: Home, Hope for Me Yet, Let the Music Get Down in Your Soul
#94 Mike Doughty - His Truth is Marching On, 27 Jennifers, Unsingable Name
WOW! I've been writing for an hour and I still haven't gotten to the Beatles, Tom Petty, Heart ..
Wow Lord. Do have an incredible list of things to be grateful for. Thank you for all of these talented people; many of whom are willing to be open, vulnerable and honest without the guarantee of your (our our) acceptance. It has been such an incredible encouragement and blessing to me. I love you.
Amen.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Happy Easter
Sigh - it's been a long weekend. A very long weekend.
But before I went to bed tonight - I just wanted to say Happy Easter.
For those of you who celebrate with me - He is Risen! The victory is ours. Good triumphs, Love wins. What a day to remember!
For those of you who don't - I love you. I hope you can be encouraged that today represents the pinnacle of the Christian faith - that we believe that God came down, suffered for our benefit and then defeated death. This is the "gospel", the "good news". If you hear anything different - that's not the gospel.
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16
Goodnight. I love you.
But before I went to bed tonight - I just wanted to say Happy Easter.
For those of you who celebrate with me - He is Risen! The victory is ours. Good triumphs, Love wins. What a day to remember!
For those of you who don't - I love you. I hope you can be encouraged that today represents the pinnacle of the Christian faith - that we believe that God came down, suffered for our benefit and then defeated death. This is the "gospel", the "good news". If you hear anything different - that's not the gospel.
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16
Goodnight. I love you.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Vulnerability
Hey Family,
I am writing here - when I should actually be working - but I just had this thought that I must share.
This weekend at church, as with most services over the past few months, I was standing next to one of my very close friends Caitlin. For those of you who don't know Cait, she is this beautiful, petite, sweet force of nature. Let's just say she is certainly capable of juggling far more balls than I am on her worst day, all while managing to look impeccably well put together and carrying a tray of homemade brownies. (Ok - perhaps the brownies are an exaggeration but you catch my drift). She also happens to be married to an Air force man, Lane, whose been deployed for the last few weeks.
So anyway, I am standing next to her in church and it was an incredibly moving service. And whenever it's a moving service I: (1) put my head on David's shoulder and (2) avoid eye contact with everyone I know.
Why? you might ask - well that is what I got on here to write about. The answer to that "Why?" lies in vulnerability. During those church services that really cut to the heart of the matter, or move me in some way, I feel vulnerable! Exposed! Yikes - someone might notice that I have tears standing in my eyes and ask me about it! Or worse yet, try to comfort me.Yuck, I want to be (or at least look) "strong like bull" - not blubbery and broken and VULNERABLE.
So back to church and Cait. So recently at services, I've had this stray thought that it must really suck for Cait to have to sit next to David and I (all hand holdy and such) during the moving parts. How it must remind her that Lane is gone. And during this Sunday's service, this thought occurred to me along with the simultaneous thought that I should reach out and put my arm around her or hold her hand. This immediately resulted in internal warfare.
"No way! She'll be creeped out."
"Seriously Paula, do you think I would ask you to do something to freak her out?"
"No."
"No? No? Seriously Paula. You want to say no to this."
"No, I want to say yes.... but I can't. I just can't."
It went on this way for a good 3 minutes at least, before I broke down and did it. And it was fine. Nice, tender.
And for the life of me, I couldn't figure out what the heck I had been dragging my heals so mercilessly about.
Until today.
I was on the Living Proof blog watching a recap of a recent weekend gathering. Jackie and I are planning on possibly going to a similar event in Ohio this August. Well I realized, as I was watching the video that at the end of these series, Beth Moore always makes folks turn and look someone in the eye and say all sorts of affirming things to them. And worse yet - they say it back to you! She calls it "the commissioning." And I thought to myself, Jiminy Crickets!Me and Jackie, standing across from one another, looking into each others eyes, saying nice things directly - no card mediator, no sarcasm to protect. AH! VULNERABILITY!
I actually started thinking about not going. To keep from being vulnerable with my very best friend.
What is the deal? Why are we (or maybe it's just me) so freakin terrified of vulnerability? And why this kind of vulnerability? Do you get wigged out when you have to be directly loving??
I'm gonna chew on that for awhile.
I am writing here - when I should actually be working - but I just had this thought that I must share.
This weekend at church, as with most services over the past few months, I was standing next to one of my very close friends Caitlin. For those of you who don't know Cait, she is this beautiful, petite, sweet force of nature. Let's just say she is certainly capable of juggling far more balls than I am on her worst day, all while managing to look impeccably well put together and carrying a tray of homemade brownies. (Ok - perhaps the brownies are an exaggeration but you catch my drift). She also happens to be married to an Air force man, Lane, whose been deployed for the last few weeks.
So anyway, I am standing next to her in church and it was an incredibly moving service. And whenever it's a moving service I: (1) put my head on David's shoulder and (2) avoid eye contact with everyone I know.
Why? you might ask - well that is what I got on here to write about. The answer to that "Why?" lies in vulnerability. During those church services that really cut to the heart of the matter, or move me in some way, I feel vulnerable! Exposed! Yikes - someone might notice that I have tears standing in my eyes and ask me about it! Or worse yet, try to comfort me.Yuck, I want to be (or at least look) "strong like bull" - not blubbery and broken and VULNERABLE.
So back to church and Cait. So recently at services, I've had this stray thought that it must really suck for Cait to have to sit next to David and I (all hand holdy and such) during the moving parts. How it must remind her that Lane is gone. And during this Sunday's service, this thought occurred to me along with the simultaneous thought that I should reach out and put my arm around her or hold her hand. This immediately resulted in internal warfare.
"No way! She'll be creeped out."
"Seriously Paula, do you think I would ask you to do something to freak her out?"
"No."
"No? No? Seriously Paula. You want to say no to this."
"No, I want to say yes.... but I can't. I just can't."
It went on this way for a good 3 minutes at least, before I broke down and did it. And it was fine. Nice, tender.
And for the life of me, I couldn't figure out what the heck I had been dragging my heals so mercilessly about.
Until today.
I was on the Living Proof blog watching a recap of a recent weekend gathering. Jackie and I are planning on possibly going to a similar event in Ohio this August. Well I realized, as I was watching the video that at the end of these series, Beth Moore always makes folks turn and look someone in the eye and say all sorts of affirming things to them. And worse yet - they say it back to you! She calls it "the commissioning." And I thought to myself, Jiminy Crickets!Me and Jackie, standing across from one another, looking into each others eyes, saying nice things directly - no card mediator, no sarcasm to protect. AH! VULNERABILITY!
I actually started thinking about not going. To keep from being vulnerable with my very best friend.
What is the deal? Why are we (or maybe it's just me) so freakin terrified of vulnerability? And why this kind of vulnerability? Do you get wigged out when you have to be directly loving??
I'm gonna chew on that for awhile.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
#81 Naked Juice's Acai Machine
I found Naked Juice about a year ago at Costco. I wanted to drink something in the morning, in addition to coffee, that had some actual nutritional value. They had a three pack of juices Green Machine, Mango Madness and Berry Blast. Well the Green Machine became my juice of choice, because it was delicious and had a full serving of vegetables. Well, turns out that Naked puts out lots of other Machines - Blue Machine, Red Machine, Power-C Machine, Gold Machine and today I found Acai Machine! OMG - it is DELICIOUS. And so good for me, I don't think I need to eat any other form of nutritious food for the rest of week! Thank you Lord for the fact there is still (and always will be) something new and tasty to try.
#82 My husband's heart
He's really amazing - and He teaches me about forgiveness and humility and not being a hypocrite.
#83 Jesus Following Jesus Images
I occasionally read this other blog entitled "just following Jesus in my real life". I love the blog itself, but my absolute favorite part are the pictures - I can barely stop myself from snatching them all up and printing them to hang in my house. But alas, that is both illegal and immoral. Awe snap! But here are a few of my recent favorites.
#84 "Yes Mommy, I will."
Ah... the sweet sound of obedience.
#85 The smell of Pine Sol.
I love the smell of clean anything - but my absolute favorite is the tingly, aspeny smell of Pine Sol.
I found Naked Juice about a year ago at Costco. I wanted to drink something in the morning, in addition to coffee, that had some actual nutritional value. They had a three pack of juices Green Machine, Mango Madness and Berry Blast. Well the Green Machine became my juice of choice, because it was delicious and had a full serving of vegetables. Well, turns out that Naked puts out lots of other Machines - Blue Machine, Red Machine, Power-C Machine, Gold Machine and today I found Acai Machine! OMG - it is DELICIOUS. And so good for me, I don't think I need to eat any other form of nutritious food for the rest of week! Thank you Lord for the fact there is still (and always will be) something new and tasty to try.
#82 My husband's heart
He's really amazing - and He teaches me about forgiveness and humility and not being a hypocrite.
#83 Jesus Following Jesus Images
I occasionally read this other blog entitled "just following Jesus in my real life". I love the blog itself, but my absolute favorite part are the pictures - I can barely stop myself from snatching them all up and printing them to hang in my house. But alas, that is both illegal and immoral. Awe snap! But here are a few of my recent favorites.
#84 "Yes Mommy, I will."
Ah... the sweet sound of obedience.
#85 The smell of Pine Sol.
I love the smell of clean anything - but my absolute favorite is the tingly, aspeny smell of Pine Sol.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Overflowing
I've been having one of those moments when I am just so head over heals in love with Jesus that I honestly can't comprehend why everyone on Earth isn't Christian.
I sort of feel like the only apparent audience to a fireworks show. Like there are these beautiful spectacular lights, flashing and roaring in the night but there are these seas of people who are missing the show. Like I look around at folks and think, don't you see this? Don't you see Him? Don't you get what it means that God came to Earth and what he looked like, what he spoke like, what he lived like was Jesus!!! What is not to rejoice about??? What is to fear? God is Jesus -humble, beautiful, wise, sacrificial, challenging, honest, perfect, real loving Jesus. And this Jesus - this God - loves US! Wants US! Died for US! And if that wasn't enough - if that wasn't blazing, beautiful ENOUGH - He is Risen!!! The grave could not hold him - He (humble, beautiful, wise, sacrificial, challenging, honest, perfect, real, loving Jesus) will reign FOREVER. No more kings who subjugate minorities. No more lying politicians. No more BS - only true justice, perfect mercy, complete love. What is not to love about Jesus?
Two things occur to me in these moments:
(1) That there are a whole lot of people who have no real idea who Jesus is or the Earth shattering, game changing consequences of His life. Some of these people are living in the far reaches of the world, but a great number of them are living on my block. Some of them have literally never heard the name of Jesus, others wear a cross around their necks and attend church every week. I am telling you - to know Jesus, to consider the full implications of what His life means, is to be filled with a passion unspeakable.
(2) Some people don't want to know Jesus. Some people don't want justice. Some people don't want mercy. Some people don't want sacrifice. Some people don't want forgiveness. Some people would trade the joy of knowing God for the chance of being God themselves. This second thought breaks my heart; if there were any thing I wish were not true it would be this. But I sadly see it, some times in my own twisted and broken heart.
Dear Lord Jesus,
I am your humble servant. Please banish any part of me that lusts for Your position. Please use whatever is left of me to reveal who and what You are to all who encounter me. Thank You that Your Word assures that all who diligently seek You will find You. Thank You that You have guaranteed justice but offered mercy. May all longing hearts see that their satisfaction is in You.
Amen.
I sort of feel like the only apparent audience to a fireworks show. Like there are these beautiful spectacular lights, flashing and roaring in the night but there are these seas of people who are missing the show. Like I look around at folks and think, don't you see this? Don't you see Him? Don't you get what it means that God came to Earth and what he looked like, what he spoke like, what he lived like was Jesus!!! What is not to rejoice about??? What is to fear? God is Jesus -humble, beautiful, wise, sacrificial, challenging, honest, perfect, real loving Jesus. And this Jesus - this God - loves US! Wants US! Died for US! And if that wasn't enough - if that wasn't blazing, beautiful ENOUGH - He is Risen!!! The grave could not hold him - He (humble, beautiful, wise, sacrificial, challenging, honest, perfect, real, loving Jesus) will reign FOREVER. No more kings who subjugate minorities. No more lying politicians. No more BS - only true justice, perfect mercy, complete love. What is not to love about Jesus?
Two things occur to me in these moments:
(1) That there are a whole lot of people who have no real idea who Jesus is or the Earth shattering, game changing consequences of His life. Some of these people are living in the far reaches of the world, but a great number of them are living on my block. Some of them have literally never heard the name of Jesus, others wear a cross around their necks and attend church every week. I am telling you - to know Jesus, to consider the full implications of what His life means, is to be filled with a passion unspeakable.
(2) Some people don't want to know Jesus. Some people don't want justice. Some people don't want mercy. Some people don't want sacrifice. Some people don't want forgiveness. Some people would trade the joy of knowing God for the chance of being God themselves. This second thought breaks my heart; if there were any thing I wish were not true it would be this. But I sadly see it, some times in my own twisted and broken heart.
Dear Lord Jesus,
I am your humble servant. Please banish any part of me that lusts for Your position. Please use whatever is left of me to reveal who and what You are to all who encounter me. Thank You that Your Word assures that all who diligently seek You will find You. Thank You that You have guaranteed justice but offered mercy. May all longing hearts see that their satisfaction is in You.
Amen.
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