Go

So my journey with God has been a long and rocky one, but it really picked up traction about 7 years ago. It was then that I read Rick Warren’s The Purpose Driven Life and decided I was going to give this “living for God” thing all that I had to give it.

I remember that when I read the book, he breaks down our life’s purpose into 5 sections: (1) Planned for God’s Pleasure, (2) Formed for God’s Family, (3) Created to Become Like Christ, (4) Shaped for Serving God and (5) Made for a Mission. The “Made for a Mission” part tackles what I would call our commissioning. Or Jesus simple message to “Go.”

Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. – Matthew 28:16-20.

I remember when I read Warren’s book he offered me a perspective I had not had before. Specifically, that “going” didn’t always (or even mostly) mean standing on a street corner in downtown Vegas or Bangladesh and screaming about how angry God was at all of the sinners and how if they didn’t get in line they were going to burn in hell. Instead, he talked about being passionate about those who don’t know Christ, that our commissioning is a privilege, and that our participation is essential.

So if this is true… what is our problem? Or more specifically, what is my problem? After a little reflection I think I have discovered two main issues for me: (1) I haven’t always that thought that it was all that important for people know Christ (uh-oh), and (2) I haven’t always seen my commissioning as a privilege.

Ok… so let’s get real. My biggest initial issue with missions work was that I did not really believe that it was all that important for people to know Christ. I know, I know – Shock! Gasp! Horror! But I really thought as long as people were generally “good people” living with basic morals in place that they were “ok” and that God would take care of the rest. On the one hand, I think my position represented something good and healthy; specifically, my trust in God’s character. You know I just don’t buy into the idea that God is going to toss people into hell right and left over arbitrary nonsense.

On the other hand, what this belief structure fails to account for is REALITY. Specifically, the reality that everyone I know now or have ever known is suffering. Some of this suffering is obvious – they have been/are being abused or don’t have food or are grieving. Some of this suffering is less obvious – locked in their own head are unanswered questions spinning around, or merciless anxieties that keep them looking perfect on the outside, or loneliness that is so familiar it is an accepted fact of life. And the truth is the only adequate answer for any of this suffering is Jesus. Brooke Fraser puts it this way in her song Hosea’s Wife:

“I see the scars of searches everywhere I go, from hearts to wars, to literature, to radio. There’s a question, like a shame no one will show, ‘What do I live for?’ ”

God has totally opened my eyes and heart to this reality. I hear the question in song lyrics, TV shows, casual conversation – the unsettled hearts of people everywhere. And the only honest or helpful answer I have to offer any of these folks is Jesus. It’s who He was, what He said, how He lived, what He represents. He is the answer. Just being “good people” hasn’t stopped enough suffering or adequately answered one existential question for anyone. No grieving mother, wife or daughter cares about what a “good person” she is… she needs hope. No person who is depressed over the meaninglessness of life cares about what a “good person” he is … he needs something to believe in.

With that settled, I think the next obstacle for me was viewing commissioning as a privilege. This issue has predominantly taken two forms: (1) going is an obligation and/or (2) I am not worthy/ready/capable to go.

If there is anything I have learned in the last few years from God it is that the word ‘obligation’ is married to the word ‘entitlement’ and neither of them are good words. They are cousins to words like ‘should,’ ‘earn,’ and ‘deserve.’ And it is my present opinion that these are all dangerous words. They imply that God works on a ledger system tallying up good works in one column and bad in another and that our lives are either in the black (i.e., more good than bad) or in the red (i.e., more bad than good). It gives us access to feeling better than others (i.e., she should’ve done this, I would’ve never done that) and feeling worse (i.e., I should’ve done this, They would’ve never done that.) So when we think God plays that game, we can get very ugly, very (VERY) quickly. When we think that God has obliged us to ‘go’ we feel good about ourselves when we go or bad when we don’t. We get angry at God for making ‘unreasonable demands’ when going doesn’t fit into our lives in a comfortable way. We feel inadequate or believe God is ‘mad at me’ when we haven’t put in our fair time. When we are ‘going’ we start to feel entitled. God should be giving me this or that, because I’ve done this or that for Him.

Oh, ladies, this is so, so, so wrong. So, so, so ugly.  Going IS NOT an obligation. God is not going to love you any more or any less based on whether or not you go. God is not tallying up anything when it comes to you. His calling you to go is an honor. A PRIVILEGE. The Creator of the Universe calling you to be a part of His story for the world. Imagine the President of the US called you up and asked for you to help out distributing food to the poor as part of his personal team. Would you be thinking ‘I can’t believe he wants that from me’? Or what if your favorite author called you up and said ‘Hey, I would love to have you be a part of my writing and editing team.’ Would it cross your mind that you’d better say yes or (s)he would be mad at you? No way, Jose! You’d be so floored by the privilege of being asked you would say “Yes! Yes! Yes!” … that is unless the second issue comes up.

Specifically, when we move through the obligation bit, we often get stuck in the “oh no… I am so not ______ enough to go” issue. Folks get crushed under the responsibility and fear of potentially disappointing God or failing. I see this so much. Folks talking about how they don’t know enough, aren’t strong enough, are too broken – you name it. But here’s the thing. If we were talking about the President or an author they could be wrong about what you can or cannot offer. You could disappoint them. However, we are not talking about the President or an author or any other limited human, we are talking about the Creator of the Universe, the Alpha and Omega. He knows you. He knows you better than you know yourself. And that means He knows EXACTLY what you are capable of. When He calls you to go – He is telling you about you (me about me!). He is telling us, who we are in Christ! He is demonstrating that He believes in us. For a moment, He is the Christopher Robin to our Pooh saying:

“Promise me you’ll always remember… You’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.”

He honors us.

Oooo…. One last thing…

I just want to share my absolute favorite hymn. They used to play it all the time when I was growing up in Catholic church and I have sang it to God with my heart and my mouth so many times over the course of my life. Even when I was far from Him this song was ever on my lips. May it inspire you: Here I am Lord.

Dearest Abba,

Here I am Lord. Is it I, Lord? I have heard you calling in the night. I will go, Lord, where you lead me. I will hold your people in my heart.

I love you too. Amen.

So Ladies here’s your assignment:

(1)   Own it. Make an authentic appraisal of how you struggle to ‘go’.

(2)   Wrestle it. I have stated my opinion that ‘going’ is not an obligation. That I think words like ‘obligation,’ ‘should’, ‘deserve,’ and ‘duty’ are part of system God is not about. Instead he calls us to see going as a privilege. What do you think?

(3)   Live it. Let’s each take the risk to be honest about where we are at with going. If you are called to go somewhere – say it! Then let’s support our sister. If you are confused – say it! Then let’s pray for and encourage each other.